Humorous Quotes -- Leo Gallagher (1946 - 2022)

"Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV so you can turn up the intelligence?
There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it don't work."
~Leo Anthony Gallagher Jr. (1946 - 2022)

Born on this day, Wednesday, July 24, 1946 in Fort Bragg, North Carolina.

Why Did The Confederate Soldier Fight?

 

"It has not seemed the whole truth to me that the Confederate soldier went into battle to vindicate a constitutional argument. He went to war because he loved his people, because his country was invaded, because his heart was throbbing for his hearthstone. Here was the land which gave him birth; here was his childhood's home' here were the graves of his dead; here was the church spire where he had learned it was not all of life to live nor all of death to die. No hostile foot should ever tread this consecrated ground except over his dead body." 

~ Lieutenant General Stephen Dill Lee, from a speech at the annual reunion of the United Confederate Veterans (UCV) held in Louisville, Kentucky in 1905. Lee was a native of South Carolina, born in Charleston and grew up in Abbeville.

Top Ten Star Wars Quotes That Describe My Sex Life

Truthfully I can describe my sex life using ten Star Wars quotes, and here they are:

(10) "I've got a bad feeling about this."

(9) "Negative, it didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface."

(8) "Stay on target....stay on target...."

(7) "Look at the size of that thing!" (That's what she said.)

(6) "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts."

(5) "What an incredible smell you discovered."

(4) "That's a name I haven't heard in a long time."

(3) "Sorry about the mess."

(2) "You don't have to do this to impress me." 

(1) "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

Close runners up:

"Now let's blow this thing and go home." 

"I thought they smelled back on the outside."

"Pull out, you're not doing any good back there!"
Yeah, sadly I've heard that one before too. (sighs)