Southern Fried Nostalgia & Fandom: Hey Arnold! -- Arnold's Valentine (1997) TV Special Review

 

Arnold's Valentine is the 25th episode of the 1st season of Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! animated television series. The episode was written by series writers Rachel Lipman (who wrote many first season episodes) and late writer and series co-developer Steven Viksten (1960-2014) and directed by Jamie Mitchell. The episode premiered on Nickelodeon on Wednesday, February 12, 1997 and again on Friday, February 14th, 1997 -- St. Valentine's Day at 8:00 p.m. EST. Run time of 24 minutes.

The special episode is the second holiday episode of season one following Arnold's Christmas (Season 1, Episode 20), Arnold's Valentine also serves as the culmination of the season one story arc concerning the title character's season-long unrequited crush on a 6th grade girl named Ruth which began in the episode Operation Ruthless (Season 1, Episode 7a) -- the latter episode also having been written by Viksten and Lipman respectively.

This episode holds some special significance for yours truly that I discussed in a previous blog post.

It aired on the same day I graduated from U.S. Navy boot camp -- Friday, February 14, 1997. At the time I was in a hotel room with another graduate and my Grandmother Carolyn (God rest her soul!), who'd made the bus trip from South Carolina to Great Lakes, Illinois to see me graduate and visit for the weekend.

While I was visiting and eating Pepperoni and mushroom pizza and drinking Dr. Pepper (the first real junk food I'd had in about 9 weeks!) the episode came on television replayed from two days before when it premiered on Nickelodeon and I found myself totally immersed in it while my grandmother and shipmate were talking about his family.

Now, as I mentioned in a previous blog post, I'd begun watching Hey Arnold! casually when the first season began, but didn't really have time to get into the series too deeply before shipping off to Great Lakes in December of 1996 -- three months after the first season began. When I saw it again upon graduation, the first episode I'd seen was Arnold's Valentine, and I was taken with the story elements of the episode. 

It's also probably my second all-time favorite Valentine's Day story in animation behind Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (1975) from childhood -- which I will probably do a nostalgic review of at some point down the road.

I watch the episode as a yearly tradition on, or close to, Valentine's Day. Yep, just me sitting in my living room chair in my pajamas and a bowl of popcorn in front of the television....also pretty much my normal February 14th tradition, alas. 

Anyhow, without further ado, let's get this nostalgic review started.

The Story

The episode beings on St. Valentine's Day (February 14th) at P.S. 118 where our two main protagonists, Arnold and Helga are both admiring their mutual crushes from afar: Arnold smiling as 6th grader Ruth McDougal passed in the hallway -- and still completely oblivious to the fact he even exists; and Helga smiling from her desk as Arnold walks past her entering the 4th grade classroom.

The students are assigned by their teacher, Miss Slovak (voiced by the talented Miss Tress MacNeille), to make Valentine cards for someone that's important or special to them. Helga tries to make one for Arnold, but her wording never seems to come out right and becomes more and more hostile due to her insecurities (example: Arnold, be my Valentine, or I'll pound you!) until finally she becomes discouraged by the whole thing.

How about "Be My Valentine, Football-head!"

Arnold meanwhile crafted a beautifully made Valentine card on which he invites Ruth to dinner at Chez Pierre, a really fancy downtown French restaurant. His best friend, Gerald, claims that Arnold has some guts....only for Arnold to sign the card "Anonymous" and second-guess himself. Helga overhears the conversation between the two and grumbles annoyed to herself over how superficial Ruth is -- and mostly the fact she's a sixth grader. 

Arnold seems to have a weakness for older girls and women; a point that continues to crop up a few more times throughout the run of the series.

Miss Slovak then starts handing out postcards from the students' pen-pals, including a sad little postcard from Helga's pen-pal begging for money. When she laments that she never gets fancy gifts from her pen-pal (unlike Rhonda who got gourmet chocolates from her Italian pen-pal), Miss Slovak offers some words of wisdom to Helga, "Sometimes the most beautiful gift can come in the plainest box." Remember this line because this is important later on.

Before she can next give Arnold a letter from his French pen-pal, a girl named Cecile, the bell rings for recess. In the fact she was about to hand it out to Arnold, who was ready to take it, Miss Slovak returns the letter to the bag to finish giving them out after recess -- this detail (despite making no sense at all) will shortly be important in moving the plot forward.

At recess, Arnold practices some slick ninja skills as he slips his card for Ruth in with her other Valentine cards when she's not paying attention. When she picks it up and reads it, she apparently does show some genuine interest.

A simple hello might have been just as good, Arnold.

Meanwhile, Helga gets an idea on how she can express her feelings to Arnold. She sneaks back into the classroom and takes out Cecile's letter for Arnold, adding a P.S. saying that she is flying into town for one night and wants to meet him at another French restaurant, Chez Paris, tonight. She tells him to please come alone and don't make any other plans.

Later that afternoon when school lets out, Arnold is reading the letter and he becomes worried as to how he's supposed to go on two dates at the same time. The two of them walk to the restaurants, which just happen to be right next to each other.

Gerald suggests that he should simply get a table at both places and if Ruth didn't show up (which Gerald was pretty sure wouldn't happen) then Arnold would be okay, but if she somehow did, then Arnold could make up some excuse to go across to the other restaurant. Arnold -- probably out of desperation and seeing no other way out -- agrees to this plan.

In the next scene between Gerald and Arnold as they are walking to the Sunset Arms Boarding House, Gerald asks his best friend what he knows about Ruth when Arnold asks what he should even say to her. When Arnold is forced to admit that he really doesn't know much about her, just that he likes her for a bunch of superficial reasons, Gerald laments that this is going to be harder than he thought.

Throughout the whole of season one of Hey Arnold! our football-headed protagonist has never once actually spoken to, or had any personal interaction with Ruth, other than seeing her seemingly smiling at him as they crossed paths with her wide, brace-faced smile on a few occasions. His crush on Ruth is based solely on what he sees as his idolized version of a lovely girl....or rather as much attraction as a 9-year-old can have with an 11-year-old.

On a personal note, at age nine, I was more obsessed with the original G-1 Transformers cartoon television series, 80s slasher horror films, and professional wrestling personalities. I wouldn't start noticing the opposite sex for at least four more years.

The writers for Hey Arnold! tended to treat their 4th grade characters more like young adults on occasions depending on the circumstances, sometimes contrasting the fact most of the children in the series were more seemingly mature than the adults around them behaved at times. This would also explain how, later in the episode, these 9 to 11-year-old kids can reserve tables at fancy French restaurants and be out late at night with no adult supervision -- in a major American city no less!

Meanwhile, Helga prepares for her own date with Arnold by rushing home and raiding her older sister's room for tapes on learning to speak French -- which she copies rather badly. She also seeks out and finds the most French-looking outfit from her sister's closet to alter. Later she goes to a salon to get her hair done in some French style -- not realizing that the salon was actually meant for dogs and getting her pigtails done up in a French poodle style and making her look totally ridiculous but certainly not like she usually looks so mission accomplished.

Back in Arnold's room Gerald attempts to coach Arnold on his date, to apparent success as Arnold delivers a small speech to give to Ruth to say how much he likes her and wanted her to know it. It even moves Gerald to tears a little. Then Arnold gets dressed up in his tuxedo and Gerald volunteers to sit at a bench between both restaurants to serve as lookout in case Ruth arrives.

Back at the Pataki household, Helga gets ready for her catfish date with Arnold, dressing up and delivering a monologue about finally getting Arnold out of the clutches of "that sixth grade yo-yo" and being able to express her true feelings for Arnold with no risk since she will be in disguise.

Then Helga ends this monologue with the bold remark, "Nothing can go wrong now." -- a dreaded phrase that's pretty much the equivalent of saying, "I'll be right back" in a slasher film, meaning she's inviting some negative karma on her well laid plan.

In the next brief scene we see a plane coming in for a landing with the real Cecile and her parents flying into the city from France, to make a surprise visit to see Arnold that very same day....uh oh.

Thus ending the first half of the episode.

The second half of the episode finds Arnold at Chez Paris sitting at a candlelit table near a large window waiting for his first date. Gerald is sitting on a bench outside between both restaurants pretending to read a paper, and gives Arnold a thumbs-up that Arnold returns.

Helga arrives as "Cecile" in her "frou-frou" hairdo, red high-heels, and the most French-looking outfit she could find in her sister's wardrobe, that she apparently altered enough to show off her....uh, curves? 

Yeah, I never understood how a nine-year-old somehow has
feminine curves. It didn't make sense the first time I saw it either.

After slipping in her heels and needing help from Arnold, the latter remarks that she didn't look much like her photograph, which he holds out showing the actual Cecile. Helga promptly takes it from him and rips it up muttering something about a mix-up. Arnold also notices that her French accent is more American, to which she acts like its a complement.

It was then that Arnold says, "There's just something about you. I feel like I know you already." Helga begins to panic until Arnold adds the he meant from Cecile's letters.

How Arnold can't tell that this girl is full of it, and more so that she's Helga is the comedy gold of the whole scene. I just assume that its the fact her hairstyle now covers her left eye giving here Clark Kent-level disguise powers....that or our Football-head hero is just really dense. Or both?

Arnold asks her about her life in France curiously, causing Helga to go on about Paris being quite a city. This confuses Arnold who mentioned she lived on a farm in the Loire Valley.

Yeah Helga, you probably should have read the rest of the letter and did a bit more background research before committing identity theft.

Helga deflects from this mistake asking about Arnold and what his school is like. Before he can go into details, a very snooty waiter named Jacques appears to take their order. Arnold just asks for a hamburger, which causes both the waiter and everyone else in the fancy French restaurant to gasp and look his way like he just farted in church.

Mr Snooty Waiter tells Arnold (in what I'm pretty sure is a fake French accent that he probably drops the moment he gets back to his apartment after work) that, "Chez Paris does not serve, le-amburger." He recommends the Steak Tartare, which Arnold accepts. When he attempts to add to that, the waiter just looks at him and says, "You are finished with your order." What a dick!

When Helga orders, she just finds the most French-sounding thing on the menu. Mr. Snooty Waiter complements Helga on her refined taste before departing. When Arnold asks what she ordered, she only deflects saying that she didn't know how to say it in English and that they have it all the time back home in France.

Well, at least she did not order the first one!

As Helga begins to talk to Arnold -- about the shape of his head of all things -- Ruth appears at the window outside next to Chez Pierre next door and Arnold goes all foggy and the Jazz music plays in his mind. He promptly excuses himself awkwardly to go to the restroom and leaves to go greet Ruth.

After an entire season of never actually interacting, Arnold finally, FINALLY, gets to talk to Ruth directly. 

Ruth McDougal is voiced by the talented Lacey Chabert, who is best remembered as the voice of Eliza Thornberry in Nickelodeon's The Wild Thornberrys animated series and the original voice for Meg Griffin in the first season of Family Guy. This is also the only time in the entire series where Ruth actually has a speaking role, rather than serving as a background character.

For her part Ruth seems to barely care about Arnold's presence as she asks about reservations with "Mr. A-non-y-mos." Yes, that's how she pronounces it, even having to look at the Valentine card to remember the name. Yeesh.

She needs to actually look at the Valentine to remember
"Anonymous"? Dude, that should be red flag number one!

Arnold escorts her to an outside table and asks if she wants anything. After saying she'll have a soda. Gerald -- still sitting nearby -- whispers to Arnold reminding him of his other date. He excuses himself to go back to Chez Paris. Once he leaves a busboy comes over and asks Ruth if she wants anything to drink, to which Ruth replies somewhat confused, "I just gave my order to that other busboy."

Oh crap.

Meanwhile, back at their table inside the other restaurant, Helga is practicing trying to tell Arnold that she loves him, but has as much luck saying it to herself as she did earlier trying to write it on her Valentine Day card.

Arnold returns, making an excuse about the line at the bathroom. Helga decides to go right for the throat, asking him if there's any girl he likes at his school. Arnold considers the question and then he kinda mentions Helga, who he says kinda bugs him sometimes. Not really the answer she was looking for and Helga almost blows her cover when Arnold tries to explain what "bugs" means.

I hope neither of them left this jerk a tip!

Fortunately their food arrives, sparing Helga from another failed attempt to confess her feelings for him. She promptly digs in enjoying her pink-looking mushy food, that is until Mr. Snooty Waiter comments that not many of their younger customers appreciates "le-cow brains and eggs" -- which is probably the closest thing Chez Paris has to "le-amburger." Upon hearing that Helga gets up quickly and runs to the bathroom to barf, causing her hair to come undone for some reason.

Arnold uses this unexpected opportunity to rush back to Chez Pierre and Ruth, who said that she already got a soda from the other busboy. Arnold realizes she mistook him for a waiter and then sits down and starts to explain, asking if she wonders who Anonymous was. Ruth replies, somewhat annoyed that everyone knew who Anonymous was, that he was some sort of famous poet that they read about in class.

Yeah, you get the idea right then that this girl is a complete airhead and she's a few pounds light. However, despite this, Arnold suggests they talk a bit and get acquainted. Ruth responds indifferent, saying okay but once Anonymous shows up, he'll have to go. Ouch.

We cut back to Helga briefly, who is walking back to their table. Dress and shirt wrinkled and no longer showing off those impossible curves, and hair now loose -- though her Clark Kent-level bangs are still covering her left eye. Once back she realizes she's alone and stands getting ready to leave disappointed, thinking Arnold had abandoned her.

Then we cut back to Arnold, who looks completely bored and disappointed as Ruth, his crush, the sixth-grader that he admired for afar for a whole season goes on-and-on about herself and superficial things like how some other girl copied her hairstyle. Gerald nearby waves him over pointing to the window where Helga is standing up and getting ready to leave. Arnold quickly excuses himself from Ruth -- who is still babbling -- and rushes back to Helga before she can leave.

What happens next is probably one of the more touching scenes of the whole episode and why I personally love Hey Arnold! as a series.

Arnold sits at the table and opens up to Helga, telling her about how he thought he liked this one girl, but found out when he got to know her that the two of them had nothing in common. Helga responds sincerely that maybe she wasn't the girl for him, that the one for him might be someone he didn't expect. She then repeats the same line that Miss Slovak told her earlier in the episode: "After all the most beautiful gift can come in the plainest box."

You really feel in this scene that Helga was being open and honest when speaking to Arnold. She no longer tries to put in that fake-sounding French accent and just speaks to him in a soft, sincere way. Even her disguise falling apart with her long blonde hair now loose and hanging over one eye feels more natural somehow -- a nice touch there.

Arnold accepts that maybe she is right and then confesses to Helga that he was really glad she came and that he's having a really good time with her. This surprises Helga who responds that she feels the same, then actually manages to say that she really likes Arnold and then asks if he likes her back.

There's a long moment where Arnold looks down at their hands, which are close to each other on the small table, just inches apart. Arnold starts to reach for it, but then remembers that he has to deal with his other date -- if only to explain things and say goodbye to his now former crush -- and excuses himself one last time to take care of it. He briefly touches her hand before departing, leaving Helga smiling as she leans on the table.

The entire scene is beautifully done with the pair sitting between a candle-lit table and a guy playing a violin in the background. The music for the scene is just absolutely amazing all thanks to series composer Jim Lang's amazing romantic score. Both Arnold and Helga's young voice actors (Lane Toran and Francesca Smith -- who were both 13 and 11 respectively when they played the roles) do an absolutely wonderful job conveying the emotions of both characters in this scene.

"Say, did you do something different with your hair?"

Ruth meanwhile found herself getting closer with the busboy at Chez Pierre who also happens to like the same superficial things she enjoys: chewing gum, bread sticks and Ruth's hair -- truly the greatest foundation for forming a new relationship if there ever was one.

Arnold returns, only for Ruth to inform him that they were about to leave together, and he can go ahead and clear the plates. Dude....really?! Arnold is clearly not old enough to be a busboy.

Also, I'm pretty sure if that busboy is actually old enough to get employment at a restaurant, then he's way too old to be going out with a 6th grader. Again Ruth clearly isn't the sharpest knife in the draw.

She's all yours, buddy.

Its about this time that Helga looks out the window and sees Arnold talking to Ruth, and is understandably upset. She takes off those ankle-spraining high heels and stops out of Chez Paris and demands to know what's going on. She slams her heels on the ground to emphasis that yeah, she's pissed off.

Arnold tries to explain, but Helga cuts him off with a finger to his nose, saying, "If there's one thing I can't stand its someone not being completely honest about who they are!"

Right on cue, a French-accented voice behind Helga asks for Arnold, saying she was Cecile -- leading to shock on Helga's part and confusion on Arnold's. Miss Hypocrite begins to babble and Cecile asks Arnold what is going on....yeah, like he's got a clue.

Surprise Arnold, the real Cecile has arrived. Gerald....help!

Thankfully, Gerald makes his presence known and comes to the rescue, saying that he's Arnold and offers to take Cecile to a local hamburger joint down the street -- which Cecile happily accepts.

You see, Mr. Snooty Waiter, she's French and she likes "le-amburger" you stuck-up prick!

Gerald and Cecile walk away arm-in-arm leaving two very awkward kids standing there on the cobblestones. Helga remarks that its been a crazy night, which Arnold agrees with. She bends to pick up her shoes, only to have Arnold pick up the other one and look at it before asking, "There's one thing I still don't understand, who are you?"

The fake Cecile finally responds that she can't tell him, but doesn't give an excuse why. Arnold accepts this and then asks, "Will I ever see you again?" At this Helga smiles and says, "Oh, probably."

Arnold takes her hand and tells her this has been the best Valentine's Day he's ever had. Helga agrees and then says she has to go. Then, in a line right out of  the 1942 film Casablanca, Arnold says, "Well, we'll always have Chez Paris" before smoothly kissing her hand. Helga lets out a small, loving sigh and says, "Au revoir, Arnold."

"Later football-head....er, I mean, Au revoir, Arnold."

This is an another touching scene between these two characters.

Certainly Arnold is curious about who his mysterious dinner date actually is. It was established in an earlier episode of the series The Little Pink Book (Season 1, Episode 6a) that Arnold has a secret admirer with a major crush on him. Even as dense as Arnold is he has to know this must be the same girl who wrote those mushy poems about him.

Yet, rather than pry any further, Arnold chooses to respect her privacy and allows her to say goodbye with her secret intact. This shows a great deal of class on Arnold's part.

Helga in turn also seems to forgive Arnold for his own deception in seeing Ruth behind her back on their date. She does so, not just because she'd also been deceiving him; but because, in spite of everything, Arnold still holds her heart and she simply cannot stay mad at him for long.

The fact that the two of them actually enjoyed each other's company in spite of everything was also a good thing. Helga's "au revoir" (French for goodbye till next time) is her way of confirming to him that yes, he will see her again....next day in class, duh!

As Helga walks away holding onto one of her red shoes, she wonders if it was her that Arnold liked, or the her she acted like when she was pretending to be Cecile -- which by the way is a good question, but one that won't be answered for some time in the series.

The final scene shows Arnold walking home and standing at the top of the stairs in front of the open doorway holding Helga's other shoe and looking up at the night sky overhead wondering who his secret admirer actually was as the ending credits begin.

I wonder who she was? Also, that waiter was such a dick!

My Thoughts

Arnold's Valentine is a great special holiday episode of the series, and certainly one of my favorites in terms of the story arc regarding the relationship between the two main protagonists, Arnold and Helga.

For many fans who enjoy the relationship arc, this episode is really one of the first indications -- if only subtly -- that Helga's feelings for Arnold run deeper than just some crush, and that Arnold might actually like Helga back romantically.

In point of fact, the creator of the show, Craig Bartlett, has stated in interviews with fans that Arnold and Helga are in fact soulmates.

There would be other moments between these two in scenes throughout the next four seasons of the series that would build on this and expand on the nature of why Helga loves Arnold in the first place. Seasons four and five have some especially great moments between the two characters.

The build up and the story arc itself is done very well for a series that is allegedly developed for kids and written so beautifully that people into their early adulthood can get into the story.

In fact, the emotional investment in this romantic story arc has inspired a large number of fanfiction stories and fan artwork on over a hundred fan sites throughout the decades, and continues to do so today in spite of the series having long since ended. Not just from teenagers, but also from people in their 20s and even 30s who enjoyed this cult classic animated series -- myself included.

It would take an entire series of five seasons and two movies (the second of which made about 20 years after the series actually premiered in fact!) before the Hey Arnold! fandom would finally get a definitive answer to the question: Do Arnold and Helga end up together?

Spoiler alert: Yes they do!

Anyhow I hope y'all enjoyed my Southern Fried Nostalgic & Fandom review of this special Valentine's Day episode. Please let me know in the comments below if you've seen it and what you thought of my review of this great holiday episode.

Southern Fried Nostalgia & Fandom: Hey Arnold! Episode Review -- Ghost Bride (2003)

This blog post is dedicated to the memory of Hey Arnold! writer, Mr. Steve Viksten (1960-2014).
Thanks for the work you did and what it meant to me and many many others over the years. RIP.

Ghost Bride (Season 5, Episode 88a) written by Steve Viksten and directed by Christine Kolosov was the last and probably the absolute creepiest episode of Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! animated series involving urban legends. The episode first aired in the United States on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 at 8:00 PM EST along with the second episode, Gerald vs Jamie O (Season 5, Episode 88b). Run time of about 12 minutes.

Because the second half of Season 5 of Hey Arnold! was distributed in North America a year after the originally planned made-for-TV Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002) sadly flopped at the box office and a number of other behind the scenes factors in Nickelodeon's corporate management I won't get into; the episode actually ended up being distributed as the 98th of the 100 episodes of the series in the United States.

When the episode finally premiered, your favorite blogger was a then 26 year old pseudo-adult and still every bit the fan of this show as I was when it first premiered in October of 1996, and remain so to this day. The story in the episode is perhaps one of the most graphic and overall shocking tales any 90s cartoon ever told, and I don't think I'm exaggerating. This is coming from someone who grew up watching classic rerun episodes of macabre horror anthology series like the original The Twilight Zone (and its 1980s revival), Alcoa Presents: One Step Beyond, and Tales From The Darkside.

The legend of the Ghost Bride as it is told in the episode ranks up there with some of the best horror stories episodes of Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and perhaps even something the Cryptkeeper from Tales From The Crypt would tell.  

The writing for the episode, done by the talented Mr. Steve Viksten (1960-2014) was brilliantly done and more than kept anyone watching it fully engaged. It certainly ranks in my top five episodes of Season 5 of Hey Arnold! and in the top 12 of my all-time favorite episodes of the series.
 

The Story

The episode begins one late fall afternoon with a group of our favorite PS 118 kids consisting of Arnold, Gerald, Helga, Harold, Eugene, Sid, Stinky, and Curly passing by the local city cemetery.

During the ensuing conversation about how creepy the place was, Sid brings up the infamous Legend of the Ghost Bride, which Eugene is clueless about. Curly eagerly wants to tell the story because it’s his favorite story, but the other kids all agree that Gerald is their resident Keeper of the Tales, and a better storyteller. Curly insists, but the rest of the group shouts him down resulting in Curly stomping his foot down in frustration....yeah, real mature dude.

What follows is probably one of the most disturbing and daring stories about double-murder and suicide I think I've ever seen depicted in animation....and wow I never thought I'd put some of those words in a sentence! Again, I give total props to the late Mr. Steve Viskten for the excellent work he did here. 

Gerald: "This tale of the Midnight Society...."

Gerald begins to tell the story that took place eighty years before (back in the Middle Ages) about a beautiful young woman, Cynthia Snell (who isn't named in the story), who was very much in love with her fiance and was eagerly looking forward to her wedding day. However, when that day finally came, the bride-to-be waited all day at the church and the groom never showed up. It's later revealed that the reason the fiance never arrived was because he'd fallen in love with the bride's sister, and leaving her at the alter. Adding insult to injury, the groom and the sister got married the day after the groom was supposed to marry his original bride!

This left Cynthia very hurt and very pissed off.

The following night, she went into her closet and put on her wedding dress and went down to her basement to grab a large, sharp axe. Then she walked 13 blocks to her sister's house, goes upstairs to the bedroom, and lays into her sister and ex-fiance/brother-in-law with the axe while they were asleep in bed. This is only shown by the shadowed axe strokes and Psycho-type soundtrack music....a nice touch there, thanks to Hey Arnold! series composer Jim Lang!

Lizzy Borden, eat your heart out.

The next morning when the horrified police finally arrived, they found the bride sitting in a rocking chair next to the blood-covered bed, rocking back and forth, throwing rice on the bodies and smiling insanely while quietly humming the Wedding March. The deranged bride-that-never-was then committed suicide by jumping out the second-story window and was later buried in the city cemetery in her wedding dress where her name is shown on her tombstone.

According to the urban legend, every year on the night of the anniversary of the double-murder/suicide, the Ghost Bride rises from the grave, walking among the tombs and headstones, humming the Wedding March and wielding her bloody axe as she searches for more victims.

Thus ends the tale.

Everyone claps for Gerald as he finishes telling the story, but Curly interjects, still disgruntled, saying that he could have told a better version of the story. He also added that Gerald left out the last and most important fact: that tonight was the anniversary of the Ghost Bride's murderous rampage.

The group of boys agree to show up later that evening before sunset to see if the story is true, despite Harold being scared and saying he had to come so they wouldn't say he was chicken. Curly on the other hand dismisses this and leaves in group in a huff.

Helga asks what time the group should meet, but is told that it's a boys-only thing, with Harold in particular mocking Helga saying that "girls get scared too easy" despite Helga's usual tomboy-like front and Harold's own admission of being scared. An annoyed Helga insists that she wouldn't, but the boys just walk off dismissing her....including her beloved crush, Arnold. Ouch.

Infuriated by the boy's dismissal, Helga angrily rushes home where she finds a white dress in her older sister's closet and a mallet and chains in the basement, planning to pretend to be the Ghost Bride in order to scare the boys.

That evening, all of the boys -- with the exception of Curly -- show up at the cemetery. Harold is the last, and is practically peeing himself in fright before even going through the gate. As soon as they enter, Helga chains and locks the gate behind them laughing in anticipation.

The boys check out Cynthia's grave site, where Arnold reads her crooked and aged tombstone.

By then the sun is begging to set and nervously they decide to go home, after declaring that the legend isn't true. When they return to the front gate, they find the locked door and begin to panic, thinking that the Ghost Bride really has risen from the grave and picked them to be her next victims. Arnold calms everyone down and leads them to the north gate to see if it's open. By then the sun is down and its now dark.

As the boys are walking through the now darkened cemetery, Harold begins to hear the Wedding March tune being hummed in the shadows. Arnold once again tries to calm the group down -- in a somewhat lame way -- but then Helga (now wearing dark eye shadow and posing as the Ghost Bride) stands on top of a tombstone brandishing the mallet, which appears to look like a bloody axe. The freaked out group of boys flees toward the north gate, but Helga already closed and locked it, causing more panic. She then uses a rope that makes the gate shake to scare the boys even more, causing them to retreat further into the cemetery.

Heeeeres Helga!

While the boys are struck with fear trying to think of a way to get out of the cemetery (or in Sid and Harold's cases terrified they are about to be chopped up), Helga appears yet again to chase the screaming boys away. The girl snickers in her triumph and mocks the fact that anyone would believe in the urban legend. After she says this, the sound of another voice that is definitely not hers humming the Wedding March can be heard and what appears to be the real Ghost Bride makes her presence known by standing on a tombstone behind Helga. She let out an ear-piercing scream of terror and runs away.

Helga eventually catches up to the boys and admits that she disguised herself as the Ghost Bride to get back at the boys for not letting her come along with them because she was a girl, and then tells them that the real Ghost Bride appeared and is chasing her. The boys are furious and don't believe her, until the Ghost Bride appears right behind them.

The whole group runs away screaming in terror and takes shelter in a crypt. The Ghost Bride continuously circles the tomb, humming the Wedding March and waiting for a chance to attack. Time pass and Arnold decides that they should at least try to leave and get help. Gerald decides to go with him while the others hold up in their improvised shelter.

Arnold and Gerald leave the tomb and, when the Ghost Bride comes into view; they hide the bushes. As the Ghost Bride passes, Arnold takes notice of something and follows her at a distance followed by a nervous Gerald. The Ghost Bride picks up another wooden mallet that looks like an axe and begins busting the tomb door open. Just as she gets the tomb door open and scaring the group of kids hiding inside, Arnold walks up behind her and pulls off her veil, revealing the Ghost Bride to be none other than Curly.

The group gets understandably angry with Curly, except for Eugene who says he can't believe Curly looks good in that wedding dress. Curly explains that his reason why he pulled that stunt was because he was mad at the others for saying that he wasn't as good at telling stories as Gerald and how it wasn't fair.

He would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for that meddling, Football-head!

You know, Curly does pull the look off better.

Sid angrily suggests that they should lock him in the tomb and leave him; everyone agrees and gang up on Curly. As punishment they leave him tied up in the crypt. Strangely, even though Helga also did the same thing (abet not going as far as breaking into a locked tomb with a fake axe), she doesn't meet the same punishment -- or any punishment at all.

As the group is leaving the cemetery -- presumably after Helga unlocks the gate, Arnold reveals that he knew it was Curly. He explained that while he and Gerald were hiding in the bushes, as the "Ghost Bride" walked by, Arnold took notice of his red-and-white striped socks and remembered that Curly was wearing them earlier that day when he stomped in frustration.

As the kids leave the cemetery they also leave Curly tied up and trapped in the crypt. When Sid now asks if they should let him out, Arnold smiled and tells the others that he didn't think it will take long for Curly to figure that the door of the mausoleum only locks from the inside.

The episode ends with Curly, still tied up in the crypt, hearing the real Ghost Bride humming the Wedding March and asking if it's Helga pranking him. His blood-curdling scream of fright can be heard as this dark and spooky episode comes to an end.


My Thoughts

Obviously Curly didn't end up hacked into pieces by the vengeful Cynthia Snell since he's in the rest of the series and in Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie (2017). Like other twist endings in other spooky episodes of the series, the final twist never seems to be canon with the rest of the show.

In my own head canon, I personally like to think that once he gets over his initial fright, Curly tells the Ghost Bride he's a huge fan of hers, or that maybe she realizes this and unties him letting him go because they share the same form of crazy?

Overall, this episode and urban legend is perhaps one of the darkest stories in the series, other than maybe the Haunted Train (Season 1, Episode 8b) that I mentioned in a previous blog post was also one of my favorites. Like that episode, Ghost Bride is also one of those episodes that I enjoy watching traditionally this time of the year around my favorite holiday of the year.

Aside from being a fun and spooky watch, what's the lesson of the episode? Well, I can only think of two in particular: Don't be misogynistic assholes to Helga, because she will get even; and next time the sociopath of the group wants to tell the story....just let him.

Well, that's it for this post, please let me know what you think of this article in the comments below, and as always have a wonderful Dixie Day and Happy Halloween, Y'all!

Southern Fried Nostalgia & Fandom: Hey Arnold! -- Veterans Day (1999) TV Special Review

November 11th is Veterans Day here in the United States, a federal holiday honoring those U.S. military veterans who honorably served in America's armed forces.

It also happens to be the name of a special half-hour episode of the Hey Arnold! animated series (season 4, episode 71) written by Hey Arnold! show writer Steve Viksten and directed by Tim Parsons (storyboard) and Christine Kolosov (animation) respectively. It originally aired on Saturday, November 6, 1999.

Classic animated television series shows like What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown? -- another favorite of mine which I covered in a previous blog post -- have explored those who fell in military service and remembering their sacrifices, but the Hey Arnold! Veterans Day episode is one of the very few animated stories that actually deals with the subject of military veterans and their experiences.

Its also one of my personal favorite special episodes of the series for just that reason and why I'm making it the subject of today's blog post.

The Story

It's Veterans Day weekend and Arnold and Gerald are having trouble deciding how to spend their extra day off from school.

At dinner that night at the Sunset Arms Boarding House, Arnold's Grandpa, Phil, wants to tell his story of how he fought during the Battle of the Bulge and helped defeat the Nazis in World War II, only to be met with disinterest -- largely because he's known to tell some pretty tall tales and stretch the truth more than a little bit.

This annoys Phil and he sadly goes to eat his dessert, only to discover it missing having been stolen by one of the boarders, Oscar.

Phil takes Arnold to nearby Slausen's Ice Cream Shop where they run into Gerald and his father, Martin. While Arnold and Gerald play a video game, Phil tells Martin about how no one wanted to listen to his story. Martin sympathizes, having served in the Vietnam War and never getting to tell anyone about his own experiences. They lament that everyone in Hillwood just treats Veterans Day as a day off from school and work.

Then, realizing that Washington, D.C. is just a short drive away, they decide to take the boys on a paternal-bonding trip to the nation's capitol to teach them the real meaning of the holiday and tell their war stories. Gerald is excited to hear about his dad's experiences while Arnold thinks his grandpa will just tell more tall tales, but still excited over the idea of the trip.

The next day the four set out on the drive to Washington, D.C. and the two older men tell their stories.

Phil goes first and relates his experience during the Battle of the Bulge where he served as a private and spent most of his time apparently on KP duty peeling potatoes. Phil was then sent under orders to dump some spoiled cans of Cham (a play on Spam), he got lost forcing him to spend the night at a farmhouse -- and apparently getting some uh, late-night companionship with one of the farmer's daughters in the barn (a story which Martin thankfully interjects in and tells Phil to skip over in front of the boys). Phil, realizing that maybe that part of the story isn't appropriate for a pair of nine-year-olds to hear, quickly skips ahead simply stating, "The next day I woke up feeling like a million bucks."

Yeah, that's 90s cartoons for y'all.

The next day after leaving the farmhouse and a weepy young woman waving him goodbye, Phil's truck blew a tire. He then initially tells a typically over-the-top story involving his single-handedly defeating Adolf Hitler in a hilarious slapstick fistfight that included a classic Three Stooges eye-poke and giving the goofy-mustached SOB a super wedgie, but Arnold calls him out on making that part up.

Hey Arnold, it was funny dude... just chill.

Phil relents and then tells them that he was actually captured by an entire German regiment. Upon discovering the food supplies, he managed to convince them -- through a good bit of reverse psychology -- that the cans of Cham were regular provisions which the enemy then consumes. The Nazi regiment then falls ill with violent food poisoning, taking them out of commission and creating a breach in the enemy lines. The Allies managed to get their troops through the breach and it was vital to helping them win the battle and end the war....or so Arnold's Grandpa claims, concluding his tall tale.

Next Martin tells his story and Gerald is eager to hear if his experience was just as exciting. However, Gerald is disappointed to learn that his dad, due to being sick with the flu during most of basic training, mostly just worked as a desk clerk and saw very little actual combat. The closest he got to combat was driving through an area where a battle had taken place and finding a man only named Private Miller in the episode who was bleeding. Martin used some files to make a bandage for him and went on his way.

After stopping over at a motel later that night, Arnold is convinced that Phil's story was all made up while Gerald dismisses his dad's job as a paper pusher, something Mr. Johanssen is sad to overhear.

The group makes it to Washington, D.C. the next day and visits several monuments -- among them Arlington National Cemetery -- and watches the Veterans Day parade together.

Phil and Arnold wonder off on their own in the woods so Phil can show Arnold something. He shows Arnold a monument of him that confirms his story. Arnold is happy to learn his Grandpa really was a hero and he can (kinda) tell a mostly honest story.

Meanwhile, Martin and Gerald are at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall. Martin tells Gerald he knows that Gerald's disappointed that he wasn't a big war hero, but Gerald says it's okay and he knows his dad did his best.

Right after this, they are approached by the same Private Miller that Martin met back in Vietnam. It turns out that Miller was bleeding to death when Martin came across him and his emergency first-aid ultimately ended up saving his life. Private Miller goes on to explain that he's been waiting twenty years to personally thank him for saving his life, which Martin is very touched by.

Martin introduces Gerald to Private Miller, who claims that Gerald's dad is a real hero. Private Miller then introduces his own family (his wife and their son and daughter) to Martin and Gerald. Private Miller's wife and daughter seem very moved while his son salutes Gerald's dad. Both families then watch the big fireworks presentation as the episode concludes.


My Thoughts

The message in this episode is a powerful one that does not glorify war, but rather the service of the individual soldier. Both stories show that no job is unimportant and that the definition of a "hero" means quite different things for every person.

"Being a veteran’s not about carrying a weapon or fighting in battles," Martin explains to Gerald. "It’s about service to your country, and there’s a lot of ways you can serve."

As always, the creators and writers for the series Hey Arnold! pulled off a powerful message with just enough humor mixed in with the dramatic elements. Y'all should definitely check this episode out, especially today.

Happy U.S. Veterans Day Today, Y'all!

Southern Fried Nostalgia & Fandom: Hey Arnold! Episode Review -- Haunted Train (1996)

For what was allegedly written to be a so-called "kids show" Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! had some surprisingly dark and (dare I say it?) spooky as hell episodes.


Haunted Train (Season 1, Episode 8-b) written by Josie Nericcio and directed by Tuck Tucker & Juli Murphy-Hashiguchi was the earliest introduction into a list of several suspense-themed episodes written throughout the series. The episode premiered on Wednesday, November 6, 1996 along with the episode The List (Season 1, Episode 8-a). Run time about 12 minutes.

The story begins with a menacing glimpse of the haunted train emitting smoke over the title card for the episode and the shot dissolving to a boring autumn day for Arnold and Gerald as they sit on the stoop in front of the Sunset Arms Boarding House just chilling out and eating ice cream. When they complain to Arnold's grandfather, Phil, about being bored, a passing train on the nearby elevated railroad line inspires the old man to tell the boys of the time he worked for the railroad, and first heard the Legend of the Haunted Train.

These boys could do with a spoooooky story.

As Grandpa Phil sits down with the two boys and begins his scary recounting of the events, his telling of the story would steadily gain a small audience of Arnold and Gerald's classmates and neighbor kids. Thus ending everyone's boredom.

According the Grandpa Phil, the story began 40 years before with old Train Engine #25 and a train conductor who went insane and drove his train off the railroad tracks to oblivion, never to be seen again. Legend has it he drove the drain (as Phil puts it) "All the way downtown....to the very-most southern point!" And he didn't mean to the South Pole neither. 

Phil then explains that, as the legend goes, every year on the anniversary of the disappearance old Engine #25 reappears at the old train station with the crazy engineer's terrible ghost at the controls to pick up unsuspecting passengers that are drawn aboard the passenger car by a blinding, hypnotic white light -- sorta like a moth to a flame, or some extraterrestrial beacon. Then the victims are overpowered by the terrible rotten egg smell of "fire and brimstone" and terrorized by a ghastly, inhuman-sounding music.

After this the train then enters the dreaded "zone of darkness" and finally arriving at their final destination: the fiery underworld. Its there that the door to the passenger car opens up and the doomed passengers are greeted by the "Red Hot Demon himself!"

Okay, maybe not quite the "red hot demon" Phil mentioned,
but y'all get the idea.

After recounting this spooky and certainly not safe for nine-year-olds story, Phil leaves them with one final bit of important information: that tonight would be the 40th anniversary of Engine #25's disappearance and implied that he'd hate to be at the old train station tonight. He even gives out directions before leaving the curious and impressionable kids to their thoughts and overactive imaginations.

In the next scene Arnold and Gerald are discussing if the story Phil told them was true with Helga nearby skipping rope. Arnold says his grandpa is known for making stuff up. Helga plays the part of the skeptic and doesn’t believe the story at all, saying she wants physical evidence.

Oh just kiss you two, y'all know ya wanna!

Arnold says that some things can’t be proved that way, and maybe the best way to determine if the story’s true is to visit the old train station themselves that very night. Gerald's not really that big on the idea, proving he has at least some faith in the validity of the story. Helga continues to express doubt, but then Arnold tells her she doesn’t have to come, and he’d understand if she's too scared....goading her into agreeing to join them.

Later that night, the trio arrive at the old train station. It's all dirty and boarded up, not to mention full of cobwebs -- one of which Helga steps right into! Yikes! Gerald throws a small rock into the train tunnel and a cloud of bats flies right at them.

So far, those are the only creepy things that happen to them as they wait and wait into the night for something to confirm Grandpa Phil's story.

The kids get bored waiting, so Arnold plays his harmonica while Gerald sings about the psychotic engineer and Helga just stands there with her arms folded growing more and more annoyed as the clock (which is still running despite the fact the station is boarded up and seemingly abandoned) strikes midnight.

The short song is called "Haunted Train Blues" on the official Hey Arnold! music soundtrack and its set to the beat of David Bowie's 1972 song "The Jean Genie" (which Arnold preforms very well on the harmonica). The song itself goes like this:

They say he lost his mind,
Went crazy on that day,
Ran his train right off the tracks,
And drove it straight to....HEY! 

Where's the engineer?
Been waitin' all night long,
Better show up soon,
Or I'mma hafta say so long.

A-woo-wooooooo!
Been waitin' on the haunted train.

Sing it again, Gerald.

Helga, who is completely fed up and annoyed by the situation and the two boys respectively, declares that there's no ghost train and no crazy engineer and that she's ready to check out.

Just then the sound of a train whistle can be heard, then the station began to rumble as a bright light appears from the train tunnel. A large black train with blood-red trim and the number 25 on the front of the locomotive appears before them. When the doors of the passenger car open, the kids see bright light and enter. When they realize the situation, they try to get back out but the doors close on them and the train quickly pulls out of the station.

Then Helga catches the smell of rotten eggs and an inhuman music plays as well. Helga screams, freaks out and tries to exit the train again. When the doors open the kids see bright light and enter. When they realize the situation, they try to get back out but the doors close and the train pulls out of the station.

A moment later the kids all catch the smell of rotten eggs and then the creepy, inhuman-sounding music begins to play as well. Helga screams, completely freaking out and tries to exit the train again, cursing her own inquisitive nature and stating that she completely believes the story now.

As the train continues down the bumpy tracks, the lights inside the car begin to flicker until they eventually go out completely. They are convinced that they've entered the "zone of darkness" and the next stop is the fiery underworld.

Helga mentions she can feel "the flames of the dark underworld" breathing down the back of her neck. She turns to see a figure hovering over her and wheezing eerily. Helga screams again as Arnold and Gerald run over to help her. Just then the lights in the car turn back on and their classmate, Brainy, is standing there before them. When they ask why he's there, Brainy replies with a wheezy, "Uh... I don't know." Gerald then opens the door as a super-annoyed Helga tosses Brainy out of the train head first into a muddy lake.
 

Question: why didn't they jump off with him? Humm....anyhow moving on.

After ditching Helga's stalker, the lights again flicker and the three kids see the "fires of the underworld" and shadowy figures walking among the flames as the train comes to another stop. Arnold sees a nearby fire hose in the compartment and gets an idea. The kids retrieve the fire hose and point it at the door just as the "red hot demon" opens it. Arnold aims right for the demon -- who turns out to be a now slightly angry and soaking wet steel mill worker.

Then the decidedly not ghostly -- nor undead -- train engineer appears and tells the three kids they are at the local steel mill and only relief workers are allowed on the train.

When the kids ask about the train being haunted the engineer mutters "Oh no, not that story again" -- implying that this particular urban legend has caused him more than one headache over the years.

The train engineer goes on to explain everything they experienced. The rotten egg smell is the sulfur, typical in a steel mill. He also explains that the lights in the train are always flickering and going out, likely due to faulty wiring in the old railroad car. And finally, the "inhuman music" they heard was the polka which the bored engineer had been playing on his accordion.

Now having cleared up the whole story and explained all of the alleged supernatural phenomenon, the engineer takes the three kids (and presumably the now off-duty second shift team from the steel mill) back to the city. No ghosts, no haunted train, no trip to the fiery underworld....just the overactive imaginations of three 4th graders.

In the next scene, Grandpa Phil is driving the kids home in his Packard, having picked the three up from the train station. After retelling their story, Phil complements Arnold on his plan to take on the fires of the underworld with a fire hose. Arnold smiles and suggests that his grandpa set them up, to which Phil just smiles and says, "Well, at least you weren't bored."

So, there was no mad engineer, or haunted train, right?

Well, this leads us, the viewers, into the final scene of the episode where Brainy sits on a wooden fence next to the railroad tracks, smiling and wheezing (as always) as a similar train with an engine labeled #25 passes by, and a ghostly, transparent figure playing an accordion sings another (and slightly eerie) ghostly song about the haunted train and mad engineer into the episode's end credits -- my complements to series music writer and composer, Jim Lang.


My Thoughts

This was the first episode of the series that had an element of mystery and supernatural terror to it, though certainly not the last one.

I was already close to being a legal adult at age 20 when the episode first aired, and while I cannot say that the episode actually spooked me out in any way -- unlike the creepy-ass pirate ghosts from Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985) which I saw for the first time at age 9 and actually gave me a couple of serious nightmares! -- the episode did feel like the sort of good time children's adventure story I would have enjoyed as a younger boy.

Even now the episode never fails to make me smile a little. Its one of those episodes of the Hey Arnold! series that I enjoy watching around the Halloween season, along with other classic spooky episodes of cartoon and animated series specials right up there with It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and other spooky themed episodes of classic animated series shows that I view every late October in a yearly tradition.

Be sure to check out the episode and let me know what y'all think about this blog post in the comments below.