Thursday, October 07, 2021

How A 90s Cartoon And Its Fans Helped Save My Life

Characters from Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! TV series (1996-2003/2017).
(Image courtesy of Nickelodeon Studios)

How A 90s Cartoon And Its Fans Helped Save My Life

My Tribute To Hey Arnold! And The Wild World Of Football-head Fandom

By: C.W. Roden 

This blog post is dedicated to the creators, cast, writers, and crew responsible for Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! TV series -- as well as all my friends and extended family in the Hey Arnold! Fan Community who share my respect and love for really good animation. 
Thank you and God bless you one and all!


On this day, 25 years ago, the cartoon series Hey Arnold! premiered at 8:00 PM EST on the Nickelodeon network.

It comes as no surprise to the people who know me, or follow me online, that I am a huge fan of this 90s cartoon series and
a long-time member of most of the show's fan forums and fanfiction circles. Frequent visitors to my facebook page and other social media accounts will often run across an image, or meme, related to the show. I also comment quite frequently on fan sites and forums dedicated specifically to the late 90s animated TV series.

I've been a major fan of this cult classic 90s cartoon series since I was 20. Looking back on it now 25 years after the series premiered, I realize something important -- damn I'm old as shit!  

No, but serious as a 45 years old pseudo-adult I've lived with a profound love of a 90s cartoon series for more than half of my pseudo-adult life. I've written fanfiction stories about the show, been on a number of group chats with other very dedicated fans and the cast and creators of the show over the years, and signed petitions to bring the show back after the final episode was shown in the U.S. back in 2004.

Yep, you can probably say that I am a real Football-head fanatic.

From the very first episodes, Hey Arnold! has had a profound impact on a number of people, and has literally saved lives. There are actually several stories about how children learned how to preform the Heimlich maneuver from one of the premiere episodes Eugene's Bike (Season 1, Episode 1).

Despite the fact the show's original and quite dedicated fanbase are now in their 30s and 40s in most cases, there are also newer generations of younger fans who continue to discover this cult classic to this day, with thousands of works of fanfiction and fanart on various social media sources across the internet.

In a big way, the show also saved my life too.


My love for the show actually started in the summer of 1997, almost a year after it premiered on Monday, October 7, 1996 largely for the role it played in helping me out of a major funk I was going through in my life at the time. I do not exaggerate too much when I say that this series and its devoted fanbase are largely responsible for saving my life.

Okay, before y'all get carried away and start to think: what kind of flake are we dealing with (oops, we're probably long past that one, huh folks?) I want to clarify something here. When I say the show and it's fans saved my life, I don't mean from going all emo and cutting myself, or from thoughts of suicide. Even at the lowest points in my life, I've never reached that particular level of despair thankfully.

Yet, suffice to say, the profound and thought-provoking messages I learned from the show when I watched it during a particular low point in my life as a young adult helped pull me out of a very deep funk of depression I was in after suffering a serious, life-altering traumatic event and helped me back on the path toward finding balance in my life. 

Although, I have to admit it wasn't just the outstanding, cult-classic cartoon series itself, but also the amazingly close-knit Hey Arnold! fandom community in general and the friendships that I have developed with many of that group that helped saved my life. They have been my greatest support group over the years, even if they didn't know it at the time.  

Today, I would like to share that particular tale of my existence with you, my fellow travelers.


The Story of Hey Arnold! 

For those who are unfamiliar with the show -- and I don't see how that's possible unless you've lived under a rock, been freeze-dried, or doing hard time -- let me offer a bit of background.

Created by the talented American animator, Craig Bartlett, Hey Arnold! is about a nine year old boy named Arnold (his last name isn't mentioned and this fact is sorta a running gag throughout the run of the series) who lives in a boarding house with his elderly grandparents and half a dozen other boarders -- all of whom serve as kind of an extended family/comedy relief -- in a big city called Hillwood (a fictional city based on the city of Seattle and a couple other major northern cities).  

Arnold himself is quite the character, with a head shaped like a football (another running gag in the show) who wears a green sweater over a red plaid shirt with the shirttails sticking out, and a small blue hat that looks comical in proportion to his large head. The hat has some sentimental significance because it was a gift from his missing parents when he was still a baby. 

What makes Arnold such a good character isn't his fashion sense -- nope definitely not that! It's his personality and interaction with the show's other characters that make him such a cool little fella. Arnold is still a kid, but somehow seems to be more mature than the adults around him. His main strength is being a problem solver and giving out simple common sense advise to his peers in the forth grade and to the other characters. He even manages to help out adults with problems as much as he does his classmates and peers.

The other characters on the show are also pretty cool when you get to know them. At first some of them seem like your typical stereotypes and cliches, but many episodes center on some problem that each of the individual characters have to deal with and as you learn more about them and what makes them tick, it gives each of them a bit more depth. The character development in the show is truly well done, a credit to the outstanding writers for the show, as well as the talented voice actors who bring the performances to life. 

Now add to all that an excellent jazz music soundtrack by award winning composer Jim Lang, and you have what was probably one of the best cartoon series of the late 1990s.  

For nearly 24 years, fans of the classic coming-of-age series have remained loyal to Arnold, the relatable kid living with his whacky grandparents in their boarding home, and his group of loveable, city-dwelling friends.

 
The Deeper Themes Of Hey Arnold!

In terms of the emotional depth and care that the creators and writers of the show put into the stories of each of these characters, Hey Arnold! resonates with its fans, matching the sophistication of Bill Waterson's Calvin & Hobbes and the timelessness of Charles "Sparky" Schulz's Peanuts.

Where the 1980s were a time when cartoons centered around superheroes and shows designed for the sole purpose of selling kids toys: the 1990s were a unique time for American cartoons, where small group of cartoon series were not set in fantasy worlds, or set around kids with superpowers and special abilities, and not being straight-forward slapstick comedies.

Instead, these shows were slice-of-life cartoons set in the real world with its characters dealing with real-life issues: bullying, weight-shaming, parental neglect, ect. You saw teenagers dealing with serious issues like peer pressure, dating, social anxieties that happen in those awkward preteen and early teenage years.

Also, while these shows were largely targeted to appeal to the younger demographic, being 90s animation the writers and animators managed to throw in a good bit of subtle adult humor into the mix from time to time to entertain many Gen-Xers like myself.

Of all these shows, Hey Arnold! stands out because it is perhaps one of the deepest in terms of real emotional depth. The characters in the show have real problems, hopes, dreams, fears, and anxieties that resonate on a personal level to many of the show's fans. 
 
Perhaps this resonates best with Arnold's main antagonist, Helga.

Helga Pataki is probably one of the most deeply nuanced secondary characters in the show -- possibly in any 90s animated series, if not any animated series in general. 

Helga is a bully who backhandedly treats Arnold rudely, pulls mean-spirited pranks on him, and calls him hurtful nicknames like "football-head" among others whenever she's around him. When she isn't around him she quietly professes her undying love and affection for him, and even keeps a secret golden heart-shaped locket with his picture in it.
Her character serves mainly as an example of one of the show's main themes: unrequited love. Helga loves Arnold, but can never overcome the fear of possibly rejection from him and certain ridicule from her peers -- cause let's face it, kids can be unmerciful jerkwads to each other over stuff like this.

What is just as compelling about her character is her backstory as seen in many of the episodes centered around her character. Her home life is terrible. Helga lives in the shadow of her older sister, Olga, and is constantly reminded of her inadequacies by her older sister's numerous trophies and awards in the family living room; and by her father, Bob, who constantly compares her and even mistakenly forgets Helga's name and calls her Olga. Her mother, Miriam, is a seemingly-broken down and defeated housewife and an alcoholic (though the show never specifically says this, though it is implied enough to get the point across).

With no real support, other than her best friend, Phoebe, who Helga rarely displays any warmth to in her role as a bully, and with a family who either sets nearly impossible standards for her, or otherwise ignores her existence aside from the bare minimum of parenthood -- Helga finds her only real center of peace through her obsessive love and devotion to the boy she bullies out of fear of rejection.

Much of these tragic circumstances are officially confirmed in the fourth season episode Helga On The Couch (Season 4, Episode 16), which is regarded by many fans as one of the most profound and moving animated stories of the series, and by fans of animation as probably one of the best moments in 90s animation. 
 
The episode involves Helga being forced to visit a school psychologist, a kind woman named Dr. Bliss, who helps Helga to open up about why she bullies the other kids, particularly Arnold. Some young adults and actual adults have actually been brought to tears over watching the episode for the first time. It was one of those stories that stays with you long after you watch it.

Helga's character growth and story arc are so profoundly written that, by the time she actually does confess her love to Arnold later in the theatrical release of Hey Arnold! The Movie, one actually feels a bit proud of her, and even a sense of anxiety yourself waiting to see how Arnold reacts to that confession. The show's most dedicated fans would have to wait a long time -- about 14 years in fact! -- to find out when Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie premiered in November of 2017, but that's a whole different blog post entirely, one that I will explore in greater depth in the future.

Then there is the title character of the show himself, Arnold, who the moral center of the universe around him.

What makes his character so amazing is the fact he isn't a Marty Stu, but rather that he is a kid that, for all of his efforts at being the glue that holds everyone together and helps them with their problems, also needs help himself from time to time. Arnold himself has very relatable trials and tribulations that he struggles with in his daily life.

In Arnold's character we see a bit of ourselves. We try all our lives to do the right thing based on our own sense of right and wrong. We try to remain optimistic, even in the face of seemingly overwhelming odds. Arnold isn't the typical goodie two-shoes character because it comes easy for him. He does it because of his sense of what is right, even if it comes with a struggle. 

Perhaps the best theme in Hey Arnold! isn't the fact that most of the show's episodes don't involve the characters always solving the problems (in fact in several episodes, they end on a somewhat dark note) but rather the characters learning to accept disappointment.

For example there is an episode called Preteen Scream (Season 3, Episode 6) where Phoebe is completely infatuated with a popstar and his music. Later when she has the chance to meet him, the man she idolized turns out to be a complete fraud. She comes away from the experience bitterly disappointed, but in the end she learns to accept that disappointment, with the help of Helga (who shows a bit of the person she is underneath her tough, tomboy exterior for a moment) to help cheer Phoebe up.

What makes this great story telling isn't the fact that Phoebe faces disappointment, but rather how she deals with it. It's not portrayed as defeating, or depressing, but rather as a moment of growth and as a lesson learned about the heart truth of reality. 

Its stories and moments like these that show a deeply profound sense of poignancy that doesn't lecture, but approaches disappointment and growth in a gentle and meaningful way. This again is thanks to the brilliant writers for the show and the care they show their characters, as well as the respect they show for their fanbase.


Me and Hey Arnold! 

I'd just turned 20 a few weeks before the pilot episode of the series first premiered with the Nickelodeon film Harriet The Spy (based on the really good children's book) though I didn't see it at the time. The trailers for the show began playing on Nickelodeon in the summer of 1996.

When Hey Arnold! premiered on Nickelodeon TV on Monday, October 7, 1996, I confess that at the time I barely watched it. 

At the time, I was 20 years old and preparing for what I presumed would be a career in the U.S. Navy. I was due to leave for basic training in early December and getting more important details in my life sorted out. 

I managed to get in about a month worth of episodes in before I left home and largely forgot about the show entirely for five months. What episodes I did manage to see I thoroughly enjoyed, though I didn't develop any particular sense of attachment to the show at the time.

Fast forward a few months later after graduating from basic training and waiting to go to my job training assignment. I was on weekend liberty with my grandmother Carolyn (God rest her soul!) who braved the bus trip from South Carolina to Great Lakes, Illinois to watch me graduate, and another shipmate who was tagging along with us visiting the local sites in nearby Chicago, Illinois. Afterwards we hung out in my grandmother's hotel room eating pizza and drinking soda. 

While I was hanging out with them, I was able to watch television for the first time in months and enjoyed the Valentine's Day episode Arnold's Valentine when it premiered on Friday, February 14, 1997, an episode noted by many fans as one of their favorites in terms of the shipping between two of the main protagonists of the show: Arnold and Helga. The episode had some of those deep themes I previously mentioned, and stayed with me for a long time after watching it.

Well, three months later, I was back at home playing the role of couch potato again. The circumstances of which I didn't like to talk about for a very long time.

To be blunt, while I was in military service, I was sexually assaulted during an off-base party. I recently wrote about the experience in a previous article on this blog, so I won't bring up the details here. The end result of that trauma led me to suffer from deeper depression and what I now realize was PTSD.

The depression, and the resulting nightmares from the assault, got so bad that one day -- for reasons even I don't fully remember -- I walked into the dorm shower, turned on the water and simply sat there for who knows how long until someone found me. I don't recall much about what happened afterwards, other than finding myself in the psych ward at the base hospital in bed asleep. 

I was there three days for observation and after talking to several of the doctors about my depression -- I didn't mention the assault and never told anyone else until years later -- I was medically (honorably) discharged and sent home less than a month later. 

So now I was home again, and feeling more than a bit melancholy. All I ever wanted to do, or really prepared for, was military service. I excelled in JROTC in high school, but in terms of my studies, being an average C student isn't what one would call academic excellence. As such I knew my chances of getting a good job without going back to school were pretty much nonexistent.

Another thing that worried me was the idea of having another issue with depression, or that my social anxiety issues would be a huge problem again -- to this day I still have issues with being in large noisy crowds, or crowded stories for long periods of time.
 
I would later be diagnosed with CAPD, (possibly Hyperacusis) a sensory processing problem common with autistic people. To put it in simple terms, every sound I hear hits me at the same time and I have no way to really shut them out, or filter them to focus on conversations. The result is many people think I am deaf when they meet me, even though my actual hearing is perfectly fine. I began experiencing the onset of depression associated with social anxiety disorder brought on by the condition.
 
Add to that the PTSD nightmares I kept happening off and on as a result of the assault, and I was pretty messed up for awhile there. I found myself in a deep state of disappointment and self-pity by the time I returned home in May of 1997. I was feeling what I can only describe as a sense of "soul-sickness". 
 
So I simply decided for a time to do nothing and try to work out my problems on my own -- I know now that wasn't the best idea, but at the time I felt like I could do nothing better. My family knew I needed time to sort things out and were very supportive, though they encouraged me to try to find something worthwhile to do with my time.

So it was now the summer of 1997, and I was again playing video games (and by now I could get that little plumber all the way to the last castle and rescue the princess without getting killed -- and without using any of those shortcut warps either!) and watching cartoon shows, including, of course, Hey Arnold!  

It was during the summer of that year between jobs that I watched the first full season of Hey Arnold! on Nickelodeon and found myself intrigued by the stories and the development of the characters as the next seasons soon arrived. By then I was hooked. I found myself recording episodes when I was at work and then watching them when I found the time.

By this time I was able to land another job as a 3rd shift security guard. I would record the episodes on VHS and rewatch them along with other favorite shows and cartoons I enjoyed about that time. I focused on the story lines in each episode, particularly those involving Arnold and Helga's somewhat humorous relationship with each other and how they played out. During my less busy times as a security guard -- and believe me there were plenty -- every now and again I would take a notebook and pen and write down ideas and short story ideas (early attempts at fanfiction writing I suppose).  

Now, I have always been fond of writing short stories, though I never thought of myself as all that good at them. 

One of my first attempts as writing fanfiction was when I was about 14, or so, sometime in 1990-91. At the time I was completely obsessed with two things -- Tim Burton's Batman (1989) and the early seasons of The Simpsons. I remember seeing a T-shirt that had Bart Simpson in a purple cowl and cape posing as Bartman. It inspired a short story where Bart as Bartman stops a couple of bullies from beating a kid up in the boys bathroom as school and then disappearing. 

Sadly I didn't write much more beyond that, but did have an idea for the story where Lisa would be the only person who could put two-and-two together and figure out her brother was the mysterious Bartman (not a shocker given the rest of Springfield's denizens). Sideshow Bob, Bart's arch nemesis, would somehow become the new school principal and have thugs take over school security. Bartman would battle his nemesis along with Lisa as a Robin-type sidekick which I never got around to naming.

But by then teenage indecisiveness and boredom made me abandon the project. Oh well.

That and my writing skills were hampered in no small part by a form of literary dyslexia that troubled me through my school years -- and which many of the readers of this blog might encounter in my articles from time to time despite years of practice. I can only describe it as being "word-blind" at times. Just another joy that comes with being on the spectrum, but something I have also struggled over the years to overcome.

Now fast-forward to the summer of 2002 when Hey Arnold! The Movie arrived in theaters. In looking at message boards to get other reactions from fans, I came across fanfiction stories.
I read many stories, a good many of them by people who could be very good writers in their own right. Raw talent to be sure, but there were plenty of gems there. I was inspired to write my very first fanfiction story after reading several online.

So at the age of 25, I became an official published fanfiction writer. The story, a parody of the Star Wars prequels, written under the screenname DarthRoden76 (inspired by a deleted scene in the Kevin Smith film Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back) was....uh, well received for a first draft work that I confess I barely proof read. To this day I still cringe when I think of all the spelling and punctuation errors I found in them, and which several other writers are all to happy to point out. All the same the work was met with approval from other fans and I appreciated the feedback and was all too happy to provide the same for their work as well.

The feedback they gave me actually helped me to further my writing skills and work through the word blindness slowly and carefully.

It would actually be my second fanfiction story, Arnold's Couch Confessions, that would receive the most praise from the HA! fanfiction community. Basically it is a retelling of Helga On The Couch with Arnold visiting the same psychologist and telling his point of view of Helga. Written in about ten chapters spaced out over a week apart between August and early October of 2002 on the Nick.com message board, each chapter was highly anticipated by the fanbase that I was growing. 

I will never forget one fan in particular. He told me that he was reading the chapters to his sister, Lori, who was sick at the time, and that she enjoyed what I wrote. I thought about it and in the next chapter, I added her name into the story in a scene where Dr. Bliss tells Arnold about her favorite doll, Lori, which she kept. I got a message from that fan telling me his sister was overjoyed that I included her in the story and it went a long way to making her fell better. 

Knowing that what I wrote helped a sick child recover her spirits is something that made me feel really good at a time when I was still regaining my own sense of self-worth. 

After a time, and writing several more stories, I found that the love and support I got from fans while writing these small stories helped me to slowly, gradually overcome my PTSD and anxieties. The outstanding fans in the Hey Arnold! fan community served as my support group. They are among the most loyal and dedicated group of young people and former 90s kids and teens like myself, and one of the most supportive fandoms I have ever encountered. I'm still proud to call myself one of them, and always will be.

That's the story of how a brilliantly written 90s cult classic cartoon and its amazing fans helped save my life.

Conclusion

Today, I am in the really slow process of writing my first full-length science fiction novel. I don't know if what I write will get published, or not, but I do know that I would never have made the effort to try if not for the fact I was encouraged to keep moving forward by the fans of Hey Arnold! and by the outstanding people who worked on the show, provided voices for the characters, and who brought to life and fired up my imagination at a time when I felt at my lowest.

25 years after it first premiered, Hey Arnold! continues to inspire both young people and adults alike. I don't know if the fans will be able to inspire Nickelodeon to continue the series, or reboot it, in the future; but I do know that if the series taught us anything it was never to give up hope.

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed this story, please let me know what y'all think in the comments section below. Until next time have a wonderful Dixie day and y'all come back now, ya hear!

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