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Southern Fried Nostalgia & Fandom: Hey Arnold! Episode Review -- Ghost Bride (2003)

This blog post is dedicated to the memory of Hey Arnold! writer, Mr. Steve Viksten (1960-2014).
Thanks for the work you did and what it meant to me and many many others over the years. RIP.

Ghost Bride (Season 5, Episode 88a) written by Steve Viksten and directed by Christine Kolosov was the last and probably the absolute creepiest episode of Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! animated series involving urban legends. The episode first aired in the United States on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 at 8:00 PM EST along with the second episode, Gerald vs Jamie O (Season 5, Episode 88b). Run time of about 12 minutes.

Because the second half of Season 5 of Hey Arnold! was distributed in North America a year after the originally planned made-for-TV Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002) sadly flopped at the box office and a number of other behind the scenes factors in Nickelodeon's corporate management I won't get into; the episode actually ended up being distributed as the 98th of the 100 episodes of the series in the United States.

When the episode finally premiered, your favorite blogger was a then 26 year old pseudo-adult and still every bit the fan of this show as I was when it first premiered in October of 1996, and remain so to this day. The story in the episode is perhaps one of the most graphic and overall shocking tales any 90s cartoon ever told, and I don't think I'm exaggerating. This is coming from someone who grew up watching classic rerun episodes of macabre horror anthology series like the original The Twilight Zone (and its 1980s revival), Alcoa Presents: One Step Beyond, and Tales From The Darkside.

The legend of the Ghost Bride as it is told in the episode ranks up there with some of the best horror stories episodes of Nickelodeon's Are You Afraid Of The Dark? and perhaps even something the Cryptkeeper from Tales From The Crypt would tell.  

The writing for the episode, done by the talented Mr. Steve Viksten (1960-2014) was brilliantly done and more than kept anyone watching it fully engaged. It certainly ranks in my top five episodes of Season 5 of Hey Arnold! and in the top 12 of my all-time favorite episodes of the series.
 

The Story

The episode begins one late fall afternoon with a group of our favorite PS 118 kids consisting of Arnold, Gerald, Helga, Harold, Eugene, Sid, Stinky, and Curly passing by the local city cemetery.

During the ensuing conversation about how creepy the place was, Sid brings up the infamous Legend of the Ghost Bride, which Eugene is clueless about. Curly eagerly wants to tell the story because it’s his favorite story, but the other kids all agree that Gerald is their resident Keeper of the Tales, and a better storyteller. Curly insists, but the rest of the group shouts him down resulting in Curly stomping his foot down in frustration....yeah, real mature dude.

What follows is probably one of the most disturbing and daring stories about double-murder and suicide I think I've ever seen depicted in animation....and wow I never thought I'd put some of those words in a sentence! Again, I give total props to the late Mr. Steve Viskten for the excellent work he did here. 

Gerald: "This tale of the Midnight Society...."

Gerald begins to tell the story that took place eighty years before (back in the Middle Ages) about a beautiful young woman, Cynthia Snell (who isn't named in the story), who was very much in love with her fiance and was eagerly looking forward to her wedding day. However, when that day finally came, the bride-to-be waited all day at the church and the groom never showed up. It's later revealed that the reason the fiance never arrived was because he'd fallen in love with the bride's sister, and leaving her at the alter. Adding insult to injury, the groom and the sister got married the day after the groom was supposed to marry his original bride!

This left Cynthia very hurt and very pissed off.

The following night, she went into her closet and put on her wedding dress and went down to her basement to grab a large, sharp axe. Then she walked 13 blocks to her sister's house, goes upstairs to the bedroom, and lays into her sister and ex-fiance/brother-in-law with the axe while they were asleep in bed. This is only shown by the shadowed axe strokes and Psycho-type soundtrack music....a nice touch there, thanks to Hey Arnold! series composer Jim Lang!

Lizzy Borden, eat your heart out.

The next morning when the horrified police finally arrived, they found the bride sitting in a rocking chair next to the blood-covered bed, rocking back and forth, throwing rice on the bodies and smiling insanely while quietly humming the Wedding March. The deranged bride-that-never-was then committed suicide by jumping out the second-story window and was later buried in the city cemetery in her wedding dress where her name is shown on her tombstone.

According to the urban legend, every year on the night of the anniversary of the double-murder/suicide, the Ghost Bride rises from the grave, walking among the tombs and headstones, humming the Wedding March and wielding her bloody axe as she searches for more victims.

Thus ends the tale.

Everyone claps for Gerald as he finishes telling the story, but Curly interjects, still disgruntled, saying that he could have told a better version of the story. He also added that Gerald left out the last and most important fact: that tonight was the anniversary of the Ghost Bride's murderous rampage.

The group of boys agree to show up later that evening before sunset to see if the story is true, despite Harold being scared and saying he had to come so they wouldn't say he was chicken. Curly on the other hand dismisses this and leaves in group in a huff.

Helga asks what time the group should meet, but is told that it's a boys-only thing, with Harold in particular mocking Helga saying that "girls get scared too easy" despite Helga's usual tomboy-like front and Harold's own admission of being scared. An annoyed Helga insists that she wouldn't, but the boys just walk off dismissing her....including her beloved crush, Arnold. Ouch.

Infuriated by the boy's dismissal, Helga angrily rushes home where she finds a white dress in her older sister's closet and a mallet and chains in the basement, planning to pretend to be the Ghost Bride in order to scare the boys.

That evening, all of the boys -- with the exception of Curly -- show up at the cemetery. Harold is the last, and is practically peeing himself in fright before even going through the gate. As soon as they enter, Helga chains and locks the gate behind them laughing in anticipation.

The boys check out Cynthia's grave site, where Arnold reads her crooked and aged tombstone.

By then the sun is begging to set and nervously they decide to go home, after declaring that the legend isn't true. When they return to the front gate, they find the locked door and begin to panic, thinking that the Ghost Bride really has risen from the grave and picked them to be her next victims. Arnold calms everyone down and leads them to the north gate to see if it's open. By then the sun is down and its now dark.

As the boys are walking through the now darkened cemetery, Harold begins to hear the Wedding March tune being hummed in the shadows. Arnold once again tries to calm the group down -- in a somewhat lame way -- but then Helga (now wearing dark eye shadow and posing as the Ghost Bride) stands on top of a tombstone brandishing the mallet, which appears to look like a bloody axe. The freaked out group of boys flees toward the north gate, but Helga already closed and locked it, causing more panic. She then uses a rope that makes the gate shake to scare the boys even more, causing them to retreat further into the cemetery.

Heeeeres Helga!

While the boys are struck with fear trying to think of a way to get out of the cemetery (or in Sid and Harold's cases terrified they are about to be chopped up), Helga appears yet again to chase the screaming boys away. The girl snickers in her triumph and mocks the fact that anyone would believe in the urban legend. After she says this, the sound of another voice that is definitely not hers humming the Wedding March can be heard and what appears to be the real Ghost Bride makes her presence known by standing on a tombstone behind Helga. She let out an ear-piercing scream of terror and runs away.

Helga eventually catches up to the boys and admits that she disguised herself as the Ghost Bride to get back at the boys for not letting her come along with them because she was a girl, and then tells them that the real Ghost Bride appeared and is chasing her. The boys are furious and don't believe her, until the Ghost Bride appears right behind them.

The whole group runs away screaming in terror and takes shelter in a crypt. The Ghost Bride continuously circles the tomb, humming the Wedding March and waiting for a chance to attack. Time pass and Arnold decides that they should at least try to leave and get help. Gerald decides to go with him while the others hold up in their improvised shelter.

Arnold and Gerald leave the tomb and, when the Ghost Bride comes into view; they hide the bushes. As the Ghost Bride passes, Arnold takes notice of something and follows her at a distance followed by a nervous Gerald. The Ghost Bride picks up another wooden mallet that looks like an axe and begins busting the tomb door open. Just as she gets the tomb door open and scaring the group of kids hiding inside, Arnold walks up behind her and pulls off her veil, revealing the Ghost Bride to be none other than Curly.

The group gets understandably angry with Curly, except for Eugene who says he can't believe Curly looks good in that wedding dress. Curly explains that his reason why he pulled that stunt was because he was mad at the others for saying that he wasn't as good at telling stories as Gerald and how it wasn't fair.

He would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for that meddling, Football-head!

You know, Curly does pull the look off better.

Sid angrily suggests that they should lock him in the tomb and leave him; everyone agrees and gang up on Curly. As punishment they leave him tied up in the crypt. Strangely, even though Helga also did the same thing (abet not going as far as breaking into a locked tomb with a fake axe), she doesn't meet the same punishment -- or any punishment at all.

As the group is leaving the cemetery -- presumably after Helga unlocks the gate, Arnold reveals that he knew it was Curly. He explained that while he and Gerald were hiding in the bushes, as the "Ghost Bride" walked by, Arnold took notice of his red-and-white striped socks and remembered that Curly was wearing them earlier that day when he stomped in frustration.

As the kids leave the cemetery they also leave Curly tied up and trapped in the crypt. When Sid now asks if they should let him out, Arnold smiled and tells the others that he didn't think it will take long for Curly to figure that the door of the mausoleum only locks from the inside.

The episode ends with Curly, still tied up in the crypt, hearing the real Ghost Bride humming the Wedding March and asking if it's Helga pranking him. His blood-curdling scream of fright can be heard as this dark and spooky episode comes to an end.


My Thoughts

Obviously Curly didn't end up hacked into pieces by the vengeful Cynthia Snell since he's in the rest of the series and in Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie (2017). Like other twist endings in other spooky episodes of the series, the final twist never seems to be canon with the rest of the show.

In my own head canon, I personally like to think that once he gets over his initial fright, Curly tells the Ghost Bride he's a huge fan of hers, or that maybe she realizes this and unties him letting him go because they share the same form of crazy?

Overall, this episode and urban legend is perhaps one of the darkest stories in the series, other than maybe the Haunted Train (Season 1, Episode 8b) that I mentioned in a previous blog post was also one of my favorites. Like that episode, Ghost Bride is also one of those episodes that I enjoy watching traditionally this time of the year around my favorite holiday of the year.

Aside from being a fun and spooky watch, what's the lesson of the episode? Well, I can only think of two in particular: Don't be misogynistic assholes to Helga, because she will get even; and next time the sociopath of the group wants to tell the story....just let him.

Well, that's it for this post, please let me know what you think of this article in the comments below, and as always have a wonderful Dixie Day and Happy Halloween, Y'all!

Happy 30th Birthday Sailor Moon!

On this day 30 years ago on March 7, 1992, the superheroine anime series Sailor Moon debuted on TV Asahi in Japan.

The original run of the show, known in Japan as Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon -- later as Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon -- was produced by Toei Animation and was based on the outstanding manga series of the same name written by Naoko Takeuchi published from 1991 to 1997 in Nakayoshi.

The anime series was first aired in Japan on Saturday, March 7, 1992 with the first episode "The Crybaby: Usagi’s Beautiful Transformation" and would run until Saturday, February 8, 1997. Later the series would be dubbed into various territories around the world, including the United States where it would become intensely popular among animation fans at the time.

The English dubbing of Sailor Moon was first done by DIC Productions, L.P. (now Wildbrain) and the series premiered in Canada on August 28, 1995 on YTV and in first-run syndication in the United States on September 11th of the same year with the title of the first episode being renamed "A Moon Star Is Born".

Despite being cancelled after the first two seasons and being put in lousy time slots, thanks to a fan petition the English dub of the series would continue production and later go on to appear on the USA Network in 1997, and then later on Cartoon Network's weekly anime block Toonami in the late 90s and early 2000s -- fondly remembered by many anime fans today as the golden years of Toonami. 

The story of Sailor Moon is fairly simple. A 14-year-old underachieving young schoolgirl named Usagi Tsukino (Serena in the English dub) meets a magical talking cat named Luna. Luna gives Usagi  a magic wand and the ability to transform into her magical alter ego, Sailor Moon. Usagi is then tasked with locating the moon princess and battling the evil forces of the Dark Kingdom (the Negaverse in the English dub).

When Usagi transforms for the first time into her magical sailor suit with Luna's help, she overreacts and then reluctantly accepts her fate, not sure what has happened to her. At the time she does not know the enemies she will face, the friends she will make, or the experiences ahead of  her. All this despite the fact that she's a somewhat lazy underachiever, and more than just a bit clumsy at times.

As she moves forward in the series, she accepts her fate, finds allies with a core friend group of other girls with similar magical abilities, discovers true love with a dashing and mysterious male ally, and realizes the importance of fighting evil and defending the innocent -- all the while maintaining her charming (and admittingly annoying at times) young teenage demeanor.

All of this is a lot of pressure for a high school girl, obviously. This is made much more so as time goes on and she discovers the truth about her ultimate destiny (sorry no spoilers!). All the same the times when Usagi steps up and gets serious as Sailor Moon shows her growing into her role as defender of the Earth.

The series itself was largely brought over to the U.S. to capitalize on the success of shows like the widely popular Mighty Morphin Power Rangers TV series.

In a way, Sailor Moon ran pretty much along the same basic superhero formula as Power Rangers: the bad guy sends a monster, Sailor Moon and her Sailor Scouts face it, do their power moves on said monster of the day, and then Sailor Moon uses her finishing move and vanquishes the creature; all the while dealing with some everyday teenage crisis which usually involves someone's relationship issues -- hey these are teenage girls we're talking about here.

Yet the story arcs are done so well that the series hooks you and then you find yourself waiting to see what happens next and how Sailor Moon and her friends are going to overcome their adversaries. The series -- particularly the first three seasons -- are charming and written very well.

Though the series is largely targeted towards female audiences, it does have a major following among male audiences as well -- your favorite blogger included.

So, is it weird for a guy to like a series targeted for girls? Well, even as a boy in the 80s I -- like many other boys of that generation who will admit to it -- watched cartoon shows like She-Ra: Princess of Power (largely due to the connection to He-Man: And the Masters of the Universe) on Saturday mornings.

The cartoons we watched as Gen-X kids in the 80s and early 90s were largely interchangeable with boys and girls enjoying a wide selection of shows regardless of how they were marketed. I've known just as many girls at that age who idolized Lady Jaye and Scarlett on G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero and just as many boys who knew all the characters on Strawberry Shortcake TV specials. As for me, I'll freely admit to jamming to all the Jem and the Holograms songs from time to time. 

Today as an anime fan (and a currently 45 year old pseudo-adult) I'll admit that a younger 19 year old version of yours truly first got hooked onto this series in the summer of 1996 during a boring summer following my first job after high school. I would come home from work and unwind in front of the television in time to see an episode of Sailor Moon in the late afternoon time slot when nothing else was worth watching other than talk shows, and became interested in what happened next. So much so that, when my work schedule changed, I set my VCR to record the episodes so I could watch them later.

Even though the series is pretty light-hearted, I admit that a couple of scenes in a few episodes hit me in the feels too. One death scene in particular in the season one episode: "Naru's Tears: Nephrite Dies for Love" ("A Friend in Wolf's Clothing" in the English dub) where one of Sailor Moon's antagonists, Nephrite, sacrifices himself to save one of Usagi's friends, Naru, and passes away in her arms after apologizing to her. Many fans of the series site that moment as one of the saddest of the series.

Naturally, as this show turned into probably my formal gateway into anime (actually Mobile Suit Gundam was my first official anime series, though I never got into it very deeply) other series eventually took over as favorites of mine, especially once I began watching late-nite Cartoon Network's Toonami block in the late 90s. Other shows like the ever-popular Pokemon series would eventually bring Japanese animation fully into the American mainstream.

All the same, Sailor Moon will always be remembered fondly by me and many other devoted anime fans as the one series that led us down the deep rabbit hole of Japanese animation.

Happy 30th Birthday, Sailor Moon -- Thank you for all the memories!

"Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight,
never running from a real fight -- she is the one named
Sailor Moon."
Image courtesy of Toei Animation, Japan.

25 More Of My Favorite Zootopia Memes -- Nick & Judy Rock!

Greetings & Salutations, Y'all!

As I already mentioned in a previous blog post, the 2017 Disney animated film Zootopia is currently at the top of my favorite Disney animated films to date. Its beautiful animation, incredible soundtrack, and outstandingly well-developed characters make it a favorite for fans of anthropomorphic animals.

Apparently many of the fans and visitors to my humble blog, Southern Fried Common Sense & Stuff, share my love for the two main characters of this amazing animated movie: Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde -- especially you shippers out there!

My previous blog post showing my top 20 favorite memes related to these two characters has become one of the top five most view articles on this blog in the last year or so since it was posted -- rated 17th out of the top 20 all time most viewed blog posts. Amazing!

Nick and Judy are just wonderfully developed characters with distinct and likable personalities. They continue to be the subject of some really outstanding memes by Zootopia fans and the furry fandom community.

I've managed to collect even more of these memes and posts across the internet since then and found myself wanting to share another 25 of my favorite Nick & Judy/Zootopia memes. So without further ramblings from me, here they are:

(25)

Down girl, he's more into you now!

(24)

That's me making this blog post....I'm actually serious.

(23)

Because fur and PP&J do not mix well together.

(22)

Go for the throat, Nick!

(21)

Uh huh, yep!

(20)

I can just see her head bobbing right now.

(19)

Yep, pretty much! But its worth it!

(18)

And Flash holds that pose for days.

(17)

Maybe, but that Buckaroo Banzai tie
on the other hand....

(16)

Actually I look more like the Grinch getting the
wonderful, awful idea.

(15)

I always feel like I'm escaping from prison.

(14)

Nick, you sly fox you!

(13)

And Gazelle's song plays in your head all day long.

(12)

Always dude, always! And make mine cherry.

(11)

I think Flash is still telling Priscilla that
three-humped camel joke by the way.

(10)

That's totally me drinking Cherry Dr. Pepper!

(9)

Welcome to the cult folks!

(8)

Damn right, Judy!

(7)

Worse, when they greet you by name but you have no
idea who they are and you know you have to try
and fake your way through the inevitable conversation.

(6)

Its not a date, its called a hustle sweetheart.

(5)

With opposable thumbs no less!

(4)

Nick is a smooth criminal.

(3)

Judy: Nick, you can't keep saying that to the suspects!

(2)

My dream combination!

(1)

What better way to end this post.

So, did y'all like my selection of memes? Please let me know what y'all think in the comments below. 

Southern Fried Nostalgia & Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood -- Ten Years Later

10 years ago this month, two brothers returned home
after completing their long and fateful journey.

"There's no such thing as a painless lesson, they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can't gain anything without losing something first. If you can endure that pain and then walk away from it, you'll find you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. A heart made fullmetal." ~ Edward Elric

On Friday, July 4, 2010, the 64th and final episode of the shounen anime series, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood aired, bringing to a close the epic journey of two brothers seeking redemption for their attempt to break the laws of nature using alchemy.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, the second adaptation of Manga author Hiromu Arakawa's award-winning series Fullmetal Alchemist, is widely considered by many fans of Japanese anime as one of the greatest anime series ever made -- well, maybe second only to Cowboy Bebop in this writer's humble opinion anyhow. 

I watched the series several years following its final episode airing in the United States on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim nighttime programming block from February 2010 to September 2011, and later on Netflix when I was finally able to see the whole story in 2015. It remains to this day one of the most emotionally satisfying and beautifully written anime series I've ever watched. 

With immaculate world-building, exciting action, rounded and multidimensional characters, and an emotionally resonant story, FMA: Brotherhood will change the way you think about anime. It will have you laughing, crying, and everything in between while providing you with a memorable story that will stay with you long after the final credits play.  

(Warning: slight spoilers ahead)

FMA: Brotherhood is the story of two young brothers, Edward and Alphonse Elric, (voiced brilliantly in the English dub by Vic Mignogna and Maxey Whitehead) who attempt to break the laws of nature by using alchemy to attempt human transmutation and bring back their dead mother. The attempt goes horribly wrong and results in one of the most dreadful and emotional scenes in amine history. This failed attempt to break the taboo results in both brothers being physically and emotionally scared -- the elder brother, Edward, loses his right arm and left leg; while the young brother, Alphonse, loses his body completely, resulting in his soul being bound to a suit of armor.

As a result of this, Alphonse is doomed to live in a body that does not allow him to sleep, feel human contact, warmth or cold -- a truly terrifying concept to imagine for anyone to go through, let alone a young boy. Edward meanwhile must undergo painful surgery to install automail prosthetics to allow him to walk again. With the help of their childhood best friend Winry Rockbell and her grandmother Pinako (both automail mechanics) Edward is able to fully recover physically within a year.

Feeling guilt over what happened to Alphonse, and determined to find a way to help his suffering younger brother, Edward later reluctantly becomes a State Alchemist for the military dictatorship of his home country, Amestris, to allow him the freedom of traveling with Alphonse to search for a method to recover Al's body.  

After passing the exam under the direction of Colonel Roy Mustang, Edward is dubbed the "Fullmetal Alchemist" by the military. Following this the brothers begin their long quest to regain their full bodies through the use of the fabled Philosopher's Stone, which is capable of alchemy without sacrifice, or equivalent exchange. 

Along the way, the brothers encounter and defeat corrupt officials and religious leaders, and earning a reputation for helping people; facing new enemies and making new friends and allies. In their search they make a horrific discovery, one that will lead them to another even more terrifying revelation, one involving their estranged father, Van Hohenheim, and the secret of a lost civilization that died out hundreds of years before. 

The anime shows the bond between siblings as they go through hardships and hurt. These brothers stick by each others side no matter what. A fateful journey that takes up 64 outstanding episodes that never feel like they are too long. Even the less exciting scenes don't seem like filler and they lead to major plot developments and character growth for the vast selection of the secondary characters of the series.

With the help of their friends and allies, the Elric brothers must help stop a major conspiracy within their country's military, one that would have unimaginable consequences for everyone in the country. 

Edward and Alphonse (Al) Elric on their journey to restore
their original bodies and find peace with their past.

The journey of the Elric brothers will take you on an epic journey that is a roller coaster ride full of incredible fight scenes, drama, action and some pretty dark elements. FMA: Brotherhood also has some strong themes about the value and dignity of human life and the bonds of love between family. What truly sets it apart is it's ability to evoke such a powerful emotional response on a deeper level at the same time.  

The story deals with real problems in the world like war, hurt, trauma, love, dealing with grief and loss, acceptance, overcoming obstacles, and above all never giving up when you are knocked down.

Now I will give y'all fair warning if you are an easy victim of those pesky onion ninjas, FMA: Brotherhood is chock full of emotion, with heartbreaking sad and beautiful moments throughout the series that will move even adults to tears.  

Despite the comedy side to this animated tale of redemption -- and believe me there are more than a few -- the tough scenes balancing them really do hit hard. Particularly when it comes to the permanent nature of death. 

This series is a masterpiece of beautiful storytelling that will leave a mark on your heart that you will never forget. If you haven't seen this series yet, you're truly missing out. Please check it out, you will not regret it.

My Adolescent Cartoon Crush Is A Russian Cult's Deity -- Seriously, I'm Not Joking!

Do any of y'all remember watching your favorite cartoons as kids and realizing that you were focusing just a little too much on one of the characters? I mean sure the other characters were great, but there was always that one character in particular that you identified with who was just so smart, so cool, so amazing at everything they did and so good at vanquishing bad guys -- or maybe they could have actually been one of the villain themselves?

Very recently in doing research for a topic for this blog, I came across a somewhat interesting reddit post regarding these cartoon crushes. It was a discussion by adults telling the stories of cartoon characters that they'd some attraction to at one point or another.

Even though we'd all seemingly had them, nobody usually ever talked about focusing on certain characters in some of our favorite TV shows, or animated films. Many adults today consider those tiny little torches we carried for those certain special animated characters to be a bit embarrassing to say the least; just a little blip on our journey to adulthood. 

However, now that we're all older and (mostly) more mature, we can finally admit that -- between about the ages of around 10 - 15, or so, in that strange gap in adolescence between childhood and the march toward becoming an adult -- these cartoon hotties always gave us feelings that we're not quite sure how to deal with. 

For Gen-X folks like your favorite blogger, and later the Millennial generation, we've all had our share of crushes on certain animated characters in our formative years. Given the animated shows of the 1970s through the early 2000s, we had a wide variety of awesome characters to choose from.

Now, before I go on, I would like to point out that not all of these were necessarily immature sexual attractions by early adolescents -- although if I were referring to that, I'd have to confess that Princess Teegra from Ralph Bakshi's Fire and Ice (1983) did cause me to wear out that old VHS tape pretty fast when I was around 14 or so.

For the most part these cartoon crushes were largely characters that some of us just personally identified with, or maybe wanted to be like in some significant way: a defender of the innocent, a superhero, a soldier, a fantasy character, a furry character if that is your thing, or even a bad guy character that had that certain charisma that you wished you could adopt for your own personality.  

Cartoon crushes come in all forms from human characters, anthropomorphic animals or furries, fantasy creatures, robots and cyborgs, and even villains at times.

So I decided to do a three-month long social experiment on my facebook page earlier this year and asked my friends and colleagues online if any of them had a cartoon crush in their youth they would like to share. I was amazed that a number of my friends who admitted to having a cartoon crush. Many of these are people my age and younger, though a few Baby Boomers even chimed in listing characters from the older cartoon and anime shows.

The cartoon crushes ranged from a variety of shows and characters which included:

1 - Donatello from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 TV series)
2 - Robin Hood and Maid Marion from Disney's Robin Hood
1 - Mighty Mouse 
1 - Underdog 
2 - Flynn Rider and Rupunsel from Disney's Tangled 
2 - Scarlett and Lady Jaye from G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero 
2 - Penny from Inspector Gadget 
1 - Daffy Duck from Looney Tunes 
1 - Peppermint Patty from Peanuts 
2 - Sailor Mars and Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon 
1 - Trixie from Speed Racer 
1 - Asuka Langley Soryu from Neo-Genesis Evangelion 
2 - Bart Simpson from The Simpsons 
2 - Chel from The Road To El Dorado 
1 - Esmeralda from Disney's The Hunchback of Noter Dame
1 -  Cheetara from ThunderCats (and I second that one!)
1 - Helga Pataki from Nickelodeon's Hey Arnold! 
1 - Maleficent from Disney's Sleeping Beauty 
3 - Kim Possible and Shego from Disney's Kim Possible 
1 - Lola Bunny from Space Jam 
3 - Winry Rockbell and Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist
2 - Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender 
1 - Raven from Teen Titans (the original)
1 - Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
1 - Revy from Black Lagoon
 
And finally the ever-popular Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit -- who got a whopping 8 responses from guys (and at least one female).  

Some of the choices listed were not even from animated shows. One person told me they had a crush on the genie animation from the beginning of I Dream Of Jeannie. Another mentioned Princess Daphne from the 1980s interactive game Dragon's Lair, or Princess Zelda from The Legend of Zelda. Another was the holographic A.I. woman Cortana from the Halo game franchise, several of the female cast of Fortnite, and one lady who even admitted to a crush on....Mr. Clean?

Uh....yeeeeeeah....

Many of those who responded offered their reasons why they choose those particular characters as their cartoon crushes. Others simply posted the name of the character. Overall, the responses were overwhelming positive, and convinced me that my own cartoon crush wasn't so weird....either that, or maybe I just know a whole lot of weirdos on facebook? 
 
As for yours truly, my childhood cartoon crush was none other than the talented Miss Gadget Hackwrench from Disney's Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers. 

Gadget Hackwrench from Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers
(Image courtesy of Disney)

Okay, y'all can stop laughing now your jerks!

Yes, I'll admit it, between the ages of 13 to 14, I had an absolute affection for a fictional cartoon mouse.

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers was probably one of the most popular Disney cartoon series of the early 90s after the original DuckTales. The series premiered on Saturday, March 4, 1989 on the Disney Channel and would run three seasons of 65 episode until Monday, November 19, 1990. The show would enjoy great rerun viewership over the next several years on the Disney Afternoon lineup until 1993, and later in 1995-96 as part of Disney Channel's late afternoon Block Party lineup with other great Disney shows like TailSpin, Darkwing Duck, Goof Troop, and Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears among other great shows.

The cast of Disney's Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers TV series.
(From left to right): Dale, Gadget, Chip, Zipper, and
Monterey "Monty" Jack.
(Image courtesy of Disney)

The series involves the title characters, Disney mainstays Chip 'n' Dale, who create a detective agency that solve crimes that involve rescuing missing pets, or seemingly low-key thefts that usually end up leading to larger criminal conspiracies that the Rescue Rangers ultimately thwart by the end of each episode. 

Chip and Dale are both joined in their missions by the other Rangers: the cheese-addicted Aussie strongman character Monterey "Monty" Jack, a blue housefly named Zipper who does all of the little jobs that the others usually can't like picking locks or crawling through small places, and of course the resident inventor and mechanic of the group, Gadget. 

At then 13 years old, I was completely captivated by the cartoon series -- so much so that I always swore if I ever got a tattoo it would be the Rescue Rangers logo. I never actually did though, or any other body ink for that matter; at least not yet. 

Gadget is a young blond-haired female mouse who serves as the team's pilot, mechanic and inventor. She wears a purple mechanics jumpsuit with blue goggles on her head, and has absolutely no problem getting her hands dirty while working on her inventions. 

Her character is brought to life by the remarkably talented voice actress Miss Teressa "Tress" MacNeille, best known as the voice for popular 90s animated characters like Babs Bunny (Tiny Toon Adventures), Dot Warner (Animaniacs), and Arnold's Grandma Gertie Shortman (Hey Arnold!), and over a dozen characters on The Simpsons -- just to name a few. 

Gadget's personality was based upon the inventive female character Jordan Cochran in the 1985 movie Real Genius. She's a combination of the "cute girl next door" combined with an obsessed and quirky inventor. Gadget has a natural warmth about her that makes everyone welcome and pleased to see her. She's very loyal to her friends and frequently goes out of the way to help them.

She first meets Chip and Dale in the third episode of the five part origin story Rescue Rangers to the Rescue (Season 2, Episode 3) when Monterey Jack was seeking help from her recently deceased father, a famous mouse aviator named Geegaw Hackwrench. Having no other obligations, Gadget joined the group -- which later became the Rescue Rangers team -- in their mission to retrieve a stolen jewel and prove the innocence of a retiring police detective who was framed. Once the team is established, Gadget lives with Chip, Dale, Monterey, and Zipper at their headquarters in a hollow oak tree in the city park.

Gadget Hackwrench is pretty much the female version of Angus MacGuyver with a little bit of Winry Rockbell thrown in there for good measure. She has the uncanny ability to take discarded and unrelated items and invent nearly anything with them, which she attributes to the fact that she has a "mind-bashingly high IQ" and is easily bored.

In addition to building and maintaining the Ranger Plane (and later on the Ranger Wing) Gadget is the one responsible for the various technological items used by the team and is regularly inventing new vehicles and tools for the team's use. Like most eccentric inventors, she can become extremely focused on her work, and therefore oblivious to the world around her. Gadget usually assists the team via her numerous inventions. Unfortunately, her creations don't always work the way she intends and have sometimes failed at just the wrong moments to cause the team trouble.

One of the things that makes Gadget so likeable is that she has her quirks. She thinks so much from an inventor's standpoint that it tends to make her naive at times. When Gadget is excited about her inventions, she's known to use scientific jargon freely and talk at an extremely rapid pace. This tends to leave anyone listening to her clueless as to what she actually means as she talks a mile a minute and often times reiterates when she talks. A good example would be explaining that her latest invention "will be ready in a jiffy....well, maybe two or three jiffies." 

Gadget is also known to say "Golly" whenever she's surprised by something. 

One of the main personality traits that personally attracted me to Gadget's character is the fact she is constantly thinking and often times has trouble focusing on just one thing to do, or one way to do things, as exhibited in the episode Gadget Goes Hawaiian (Season 2, Episode 33). This is a trait common with ADHD, or with people on the autism spectrum that I struggled with at a young age and continue to work on even today. Some fans speculate that Gadget character might well be an Aspie herself.

However once Gadget overcomes her rapid-thinking and finds her focus she can invent at a staggering pace, for example, her armored gyro-mobile in The Case of the Cola Cult (Season 2, Episode 14) -- one of my personal favorite episodes of the series, and one that will have more significance later in this article.  

While her character comes off as generally friendly and outgoing to people, with just a little bit of snark and sass at times, Gadget can also be easily angered on occasion as seen in the episode Dirty Rotten Diapers (Season 2, Episode 38) after being driven to the breaking point in her calm nature by a ring of thieves. When she reaches that limit beyond where her cute veneer is lost and she gets all riled up, our dear Gadget can become a total badass, and God help the bad guy on the receiving end of it!

Her creative and mechanical genius, open concern for her friends, and even her scatter-brained autistic tendencies all combine to made her very attractive to a generation of fans, and I'd say one of Disney's strongest female characters at the time. 

In the show, both Chip and Dale are attracted to Gadget, and often compete for her attention, although she is portrayed as being seemingly ignorant of these advances. On more than one occasion she has upset Chip and Dale's romantic advances more than once, simply by being blissfully ignorant, or too focused on her inventions. This ends up being a running gag throughout the series.

Now here I admit a little bit of a shipping bias since I always loved the few moments Gadget and Dale shared together. I don't really remember why, but I always thought they would make the better couple. Not sure if it is the fact that Dale can have his own moments of brilliance when it comes to inventing things like the spy gadgets in episode Double 'O Chipmunk (Season 2, Episode 32) or just the fact that he shares the same sort of scatter-minded tendencies that Gadget has (Dale often times uses the word "Zowie" when he is surprised). 

"Forget a man in uniform, what I really like is a boy in a
Hawaiian shirt." 

Gadget is also a retro favorite among fans of the furry fandom community and anthropomorphic animal cosplayers. You can find a number of images online of professional cosplayers and ordinary people dressing up for fandom conventions portraying our favorite mousey inventor and the other Rescue Rangers themselves. Apparently Gadget is a childhood favorite for many adults from my generation and 90s children.

Unfortunately, that also applies to people who are allegedly adults who seem to still hold some attraction for her well past puberty. Let's just say if you ever plan to do an Google image search for Gadget, I would strongly advise using the parental lock, or with the Safe Search filter on; otherwise you're guaranteed to see images that will murder your childhood dead in unspeakable ways. So, for the sake of your innocent memories of Gadget Hackwrench, please for the love of your furry deity, be careful on the internet! 

I almost had my childhood ruined several years ago by one certain Rescue Ranger themed skit on Robot Chicken which we shall never speak of again. 

Yeah, when it comes to my cartoon crush, I much prefer to remember Gadget for the awesome character that she was in my early teenage years: strong female character, pilot, mechanic, inventor....and apparently the central figure of worship in a Russian cult.

I'm totally not making that last part up, folks!

There's apparently a group of Gadget fans in the Russian city of Nizhny Novgorod who have built an entire religion around her likeness called Gadgetology. 

Members of the Russian Gadgetology cult preparing to hold a
ritual service for their deity -- Gadget Hackwrench.

The members of this cult believe with all their hearts that Gadget is a divine being, a goddess, who lives on another plane of existence, or a parallel universe. The members of the cult burn candles around a poster size image of the cartoon and chant to her to grant their wishes. They pray to posters of Gadget, write songs and poetry about her, and place stickers of her anywhere they can.

Gadgetology followers regularly meet online and even hold offline events where they pray to effigies of her, celebrate her birthday, serenade her with songs and poetry, and give little offerings to her image.

Basically, these people want to communicate with her directly, to shake her anthropomorphic hand and see her mousy inventions firsthand. They believe that she will manifest herself into our reality if enough people wish for some hard enough and long enough. Some of them even believe Gadget has already visited other dimensions to bless fans from parallel universes for their faith.

There are no less than three denominations of Gadgetology which are not mutually exclusive: Traditional Gadgetology, Progressive Gadgetology, and Apocalyptic Gadgetology.

This is a level of fandom devotion that goes beyond just a simple cartoon crush, but hey, if it makes them happy, and they aren't sacrificing live animals, or anything, more power to them.

So there you have it, a cartoon character than I identified with and had a small attraction to around 13 and 14 years old has become so popular, not only is she a cosplay favorite, she's now literally a goddess to a couple hundred Russians. 

All I have to say about that is....bet none of y'all had a cartoon crush who was deified! Ha ha! 

No seriously, I like the idea that one of my favorite protagonists in one of my all-time favorite animated shows has brought people so much joy, and had such an impact on their lives they still care about her. That's the power of fandom folks, and it is a force to be reckoned with.

While I cannot say that my own love for Gadget ever reached such levels of devotion, I did learn from her character that being different and unique are not bad things -- they can be even be great strengths, even your own personal superpower, if utilized in the right ways.

Granted I can't invent things from a few spare parts, but I know how to use my imagination to create good work for people who enjoy my online content.  

Always be uniquely you and find your own style. 

My Gadget button, a gift from a previous girlfriend
who also shared my love for the TV series.

Have any of y'all learned anything from having a cartoon crush in your youth, or in the present day? Let me know in the comments section below, and tell me if you enjoyed this article. 

  

Have a wonderful Dixie day and y'all come back now, ya hear!