Southern Fried Humor -- The Best Tribble You'll Ever Eat

Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Trek: The Original Series TV series, or movie franchise, those belong exclusively to Paramount Studios and Star Trek is the brainchild of the Great Bird of the Galaxy himself, the late Mr. Gene Roddenberry. I also didn't come up with the idea of Tribbles, those came from Hugo Award Winning author and television writer Mr. David Jerrold who wrote the screenplay for the Star Trek: The Original Series episode The Trouble With Tribbles (Season 2, Episode 15).
The purpose of this blog post is satirical in nature to inject humor into an otherwise boring-ass personal website.


Ah Tribbles!

They're nice, soft, furry, and make a pleasant sound.... then again so does an ermine violin, and I see no advantage in having one. Sure its a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're attractive in some way, but there's no practical use for them and they eat a great deal, and are practically born pregnant.

If someone you love makes the mistake of purchasing one of these soft, furry little pests from some wandering space trader who decided to remove one of these creatures from its natural, predator-filled, habitat where its multiplicative tendencies are left unabated; you'll end up with many, many more of these hairballs than you could ever want.

When that happens you'll get Tribbles all over your ship. On your bridge. In the hallways in your lower decks. In your turboshafts and Jeffries tubes. In your grain storage compartments. Aye, even in your machinery -- good luck enjoying your chicken sandwich and coffee when that happens!

They have to go, but what do you do when they're about to overrun your ship? You can't simply beam them out into space -- I mean you could, but that'd be inhuman.

Well, I can think of at least one practical use for the little furry critters....

Carl's Famous Roasted Tribbles Recipe

1 pound ground Tribble meat (you can substitute ground chicken).
1 tbsp olive oil
1 egg, unmolested
1/3 cup Italian seasoned bread crumbs
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp fresh ground pepper
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
1/2 cup crushed cornflakes

Mix 1 pound of fresh Tribble meat (or ground chicken) with olive oil, bread crumbs, one egg, and all your seasonings. Shape the mix into egg-sized balls.

Crack your remaining eggs into a large bowl and beat them.

Mix your flour, coconut flakes, and crushed cornflakes in a bag.

Set up an assembly line. Dip your Tribble meat in the egg mixture, roll the meat around in the crunchy coating, and put it on a well greased baking sheet.

Spritz your Tribbles with olive oil spray, or nonstick coating (like refined Ferengi lobe wax) for some extra crunch.

Bake at 375F for 10 minutes. Flip your Tribbles and bake them for another 10 minutes. Then set them on a plate, or tray to cool and serve.

If you and your friends are out camping, you can fry the Tribbles over an open flame, or a grill.

Tribbles also go really well with the famous McCoy Family Beans for that memorable campfire
cooking experience.
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier Image courtesy of Paramonunt.