Top 20 Best Advice For Anyone Wanting To Move To South Carolina

Having been born, raised, and lived my whole pseudo-adult life in the Great State of South Carolina -- the living, beating heart of Dixie -- I can tell y'all its a wonderful place to live and settle down roots.

Now if y'all are foreigners (that is anyone not fortunate enough to have been born in South Carolina, nor have family who are native Sandlappers) and want to move here, you'll find that the folks down here in our little corner of God's Country (aka The American Southland) are quite welcoming to new blood -- especially the Skeeters, LOL!

However, if y'all do decide you'd like to live here there are a few friendly bits of advice y'all might want to remember in order to ensure that everyone gets along. These are more guidelines than actual rules, mind you, but its best y'all learn the following twenty pieces of advice when it comes to living in the Palmetto State.

So without further ado, here are the top 20 best pieces of advice for anyone wanting to move to South Carolina:

(1) Save all bacon grease -- you'll be instructed how to use it later.

(2) If y'all run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men (or a daddy's girl who can show the boys how it's done) in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This sorta shits what they live for.

(3) Remember: "Y'all" is singular, "All y'all" is plural, and "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

(4) Get used to the phrase: "It ain't the heat, it's the humidity." Not to mention the collateral phrase: "You call this hot? Just y'all wait till August!"

(5) Don't tell us how y'all did it up there. Remember y'all are immigrants, not missionaries.

(6) If y'all think it's too hot in July, don't worry; it'll cool down in, oh about December, or so.

(7) A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.

(8) If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.

(9) The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade -- especially between June and October.

(10) If you are driving a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road, pull onto the shoulder. That's called "courtesy".

(11) Barbecue means grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors. BBQ is a food group. Learn the difference!

(12) Weddings, funerals, and divorces must always (and I mean ALWAYS) take into account for Clemson Tigers/Carolina Gamecocks College Football games -- especially on Rivalry Day.

(13) Everything is better with Ranch dressing -- Thousand Island if you want to live in Charleston.

(14) DON'T honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.

(15) We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass.

(16) We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.

(17) "Bless your Heart" is just a nice, polite Southern way of saying: you're an f***ing idiot.

(18) No mater what kind of carbonated beverage it ain't called "soda" or "pop" -- It's all called Coke.

(19) In small towns near rural areas there will always be a tractor on the two lane when you are running late, so be sure to allow time for that.

(20) If y'all don't like the weather in South Carolina, wait about, oh say 15 minutes, or so; it'll change.