Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Taking The "If Sex Were A Crime" 75 Question Challenge (NSFW)

Greetings and Salutations, Y'all!

Today this blogger is going to do something a bit different. Today I am going to take a somewhat interesting and personally revealing test: the "If Sex Were A Crime How Long Would You Be Locked Up?" 75 Question Challenge.

This challenge is based on an internet meme of the same name, though with far more detailed questions, some of which are a bit more revealing that others 
A shout out to my friend and former co-worker, Jennifer P. who came up with this quiz/challenge.

Here is how this test works.

For every positive response to the question, add the amount of jail time posted at the end of each question to your total score.

I am told the total amount of time one would serve would be 159 years maximum if all 70 questions were answered in a positive.
Anything below 50 years is considered average. Between 51 - 100 years is considered adventurous. Above 100 years is considered expert love criminal.

Here is the quiz/challenge:


Yes, handcuffs are definitely a thing in this challenge.

If Sex Was A Crime How Long Would You Be Locked Up?
75 Question Challenge

(1) Had a one-night-stand? (1 year)
(2) Had sex in a shower or tub? (1 year)
(3) Watched or own pornography? (1 year)
(4) Had sex in a car or van? (2 years)
(5) Had sex in a bed neither of you owned? (2 years)
(6) Had sex with the lights on? (2 years)
(7) Had sex in public? (3 years)
(8) Had sex while drunk? (2 years)
(9) Had sex in the dark? (1 year)
(10) Had sex with a friend? (2 years)
(11) Had sex while high? (2 years)
(12) Had sex to loud music? (2 years) 
(13) Had sex in candlelight? (2 years) 
(14) Had sex outside? (3 years) 
(15) Had sex with a stranger? (2 years)
(16) Been in a threesome or an orgy? (4 years) 
(17) Ever joined the Mile-High Club? (3 years) 
(18) Made a sex tape? (2 years) 
(19) Had sex before you were 18? (2 years)
(20) Had sex with the same sex? (3 years)
(21) Had sex with an ex? (2 years) 
(22) Preformed or had anal done to you - pegging? (3 years) 
(23) Been tied up or handcuffed during sex? (3 years)
(24) Preformed BDSM on someone? (3 years) 
(25) Do you own sex toys? (1 years) 
(26) Had sex while blindfolded? (1 years) 
(27) Had cosplay or fantasy sex? (3 years)
(28) Had sex in the kitchen? (2 years)
(29) Had quiet sex - making no noise? (2 years) 
(30) Had quickie sex outside the bedroom? (2 years) 
(31) Masturbated in a public restroom? (1 year)
(32) Have you ever sent nude selfies to someone? (3 years)
(33) Had sex with a friend of a sibling? (2 years) 
(34) Been loud during sex? (1 year) 
(35)
Talk dirty during sex? (1 year)
(36) Snuck someone in your bedroom secretly to have sex? (2 years)
(37) Had sex while skinny dipping? (2 years)
(38) Have you ever cried during sex for any reason? (1 year) 
(39) Had sex with someone off limits? (3 years) 
(40) Had sex with someone 10 years older or younger than you? (3 years) 
(41) Had sex with a virgin? (1 years)
(42) Had sex with a MILF? (1 years) 
(43) Have sex for money? (3 years) 
(44) Woke up with a stranger in bed naked? (2 years)
(45) Have you ever traded partners with someone? (3 years)
(46) Had sex to music - moved with the beat or rhythm of a song? (2 years)
(47) Have you ever been a submissive during sex? (1 years)
(48) Do you have nudes on your phone? (3 years)
(49) Have you ever sexted someone? (1 years)
(50) Did you ever have sex in your high school? (3 years)  
(51) Have you ever had phone sex? (2 years)
(52) Have you ever used flavored condoms or edible underwear? (3 years) 
(53) Have you ever stolen, or worn your partner's underwear after sex? (2 years)
(54) Had sex first thing in the morning? (1 years)
(55) Had sex in the middle of the night? (1 years) 
(56) Have nude selfies of a sexual partner? (2 years)
(57) Had sex with someone of a different ethnicity? (2 years)
(58) Had oral while driving? (3 years)
(59) Ever reenacted a steamy scene from a movie? (2 years)
(60) Choked someone during sex? (3 years)
(61) Had sex on the living room couch? (3 years)
(62) Had sex in front of a mirror? (1 years) 
(63) Used a sex toy, or had one used on you? (3 years)
(64) Gotten an STD from unprotected sex? (3 years)
(65) Stripped your partner before sex? (1 years)
(66) Gone ass-to-mouth? (4 years)
(67) Spent a whole day naked in bed with a partner? (2 years)
(68) Picked masturbation over sex? (2 years)
(69) Done 69 on someone? (1 years)
(70) Had sex with ten or more people? (4 years) 
(71) Have you ever had sex in a tent, or on a boat? (1 year)
(72) Had sex with a step-sibling, or family member? (5 years)
(73) Have you ever had or given a handjob to someone in public? 
(74) Have you ever played strip poker? (1 year)
(75) Do you still have sex with any of your former sexual partners? (1 year)
 

Well there you have it folks. Take the quiz yourself and see how long you would serve if the act of sex were a crime. 

Now for your favorite blogger to take the test and tally up the score. As always my responses will be posted in red -- including a few clarifying answers as some of these require a bit more than the usual yes, or no responses.

So then, let the games begin!

(1) Had a one-night-stand? (1 year) 
Yes. Half of my experiences involve them.
(2) Had sex in a shower or tub? (1 year) 
Yes, in a tub, and tried in a shower, neither is as sexy in real life as they are portrayed in films or television, FYI.


(3) Watched or own pornography? (1 year)
I think just about all of us can cop to the first one, but as for the second, aside from some movies with sex scenes in them I don't own sexual pornography personally. 
(4) Had sex in a car or van? (2 years)
Yes to both in my early sexual active years, pickup truck also. These days I like to be more comfortable though. 
(5) Had sex in a bed neither of you owned? (2 years)
Yes. 
(6) Had sex with the lights on? (2 years)
No, I'm kinda weird on this one. Sunlight in the daytime doesn't count. 
(7) Had sex in public? (3 years)
Er, kinda-sorta. In the back of a van parked at a high school football game. That one connects to number 4.  
(8) Had sex while drunk? (2 years)
Nope. 
(9) Had sex in the dark? (1 year)
Yes. 
(10) Had sex with a friend? (2 years)
Yes. 
(11) Had sex while high? (2 years)
No.  
(12) Had sex to loud music? (2 years) 
Yeppers, and that was mostly to cover up the sex sounds.
(13) Had sex in candlelight? (2 years) 
That's actually my favorite lighting for those moments. 
(14) Had sex outside? (3 years) 
Yes, in the back of a pickup truck, again on a mattress, with no cover on a starry night in an open field. 
(15) Had sex with a stranger? (2 years)
Yes, although I don't always recommend that one, and if you do please keep yourself protected as much as possible. 
(16) Been in a threesome or an orgy? (4 years) 
Threesome yes, orgy no -- and the threesome in question is not quite the experience that they're made out to be. 
(17) Ever joined the Mile-High Club? (3 years) 
Nope and I won't get on one of those death-tubes to try it either!
(18) Made a sex tape? (2 years) 
Nope. 
(19) Had sex before you were 18? (2 years)
Yes. First time was the night of my 17th birthday and had at least one other lover between then and my 18th. 
(20) Had sex with the same sex? (3 years)
No -- at least not all the way. 
(21) Had sex with an ex? (2 years) 
Yep. Sometimes those are okay.  
(22) Preformed or had anal done to you - pegging? (3 years) 
No to the former, but as for the second, yeah I will admit I tried it once -- mostly as a favor to a lover who did me a huge favor.

Deadpool fans will totally get this one!

(23) Been tied up or handcuffed during sex? (3 years) 
Yes. Wrists tied to bedpost bars. No cuffs though, not even the furry ones.
(24) Preformed BDSM on someone? (3 years) 
Yes. Not really one of my favorite things to do.
(25) Do you own sex toys? (1 year) 
Nope.
(26) Had sex while blindfolded? (1 year)
Nope.

(27) Had cosplay or fantasy sex? (3 years)
I don't think the one time I had sex with a cosplayer counts since I didn't plan it, or fantasize anything at the time. 

(28) Had sex in the kitchen? (2 years)
Nope. 
(29) Had quiet sex - making no noise? (2 years)
Yes, but only to keep people in the house from knowing what was going on.

(30) Had quickie sex outside the bedroom? (2 years) 
Yes. 
(31) Masturbated in a public restroom? (1 year)
Nope. Thankfully I've always had more self-control than that!
(32) Have you ever sent nude selfies to someone? (3 years)
Nope and never would. 
(33) Had sex with a friend of a sibling? (2 years)  
Yes, several actually. 
(34) Been loud during sex? (1 year) 
You can't see it, but I am blushing. Yep.  
(35)
Talk dirty during sex? (1 year) 

Yes, but I don't do it often....both the dirty talk and the sex. 
(36) Snuck someone in your bedroom secretly to have sex? (2 years)
Yes, and had a couple of someones sneak into my bedroom at night too. 
(37) Had sex while skinny dipping? (2 years) 
Nope.
(38) Have you ever cried during sex for any reason? (1 year) 
Yes. Not because they were bad, but because I'm just a sensitive SOB.
(39) Had sex with someone off limits? (3 years) 
Not exactly.
(40) Had sex with someone 10 years older or younger than you? (3 years) 
Just once -- she was 30 and I was 41 at the time. 
(41) Had sex with a virgin? (1 year)
Yes. 
(42) Had sex with a MILF? (1 year) 
No. 
(43) Have sex for money? (3 years) 
Uh, kinda ashamed to admit this, but yes -- but only once! There is more to this story though (and its sorta related to #22), its complicated and I might share in a future post. 
(44) Woke up with a stranger in bed naked? (2 years)
Yes. 
(45) Have you ever traded partners with someone? (3 years)
Nope. 
(46) Had sex to music - moved with the beat or rhythm of a song? (2 years)
(blush) Yeah I have. We both have. 
(47) Have you ever been a submissive during sex? (1 year)
Yes. 
(48) Do you have nudes on your phone? (3 years)
No.
(49) Have you ever sexted someone? (1 year)
No. 
(50) Did you ever have sex at your high school? (3 years)  
Twice. 
(51) Have you ever had phone sex? (2 years) 
Nope.
(52) Have you ever used flavored condoms or edible underwear? (3 years) 
Nope. 
(53) Have you ever stolen, or worn your partner's underwear after sex? (2 years) 
No.
(54) Had sex first thing in the morning? (1 year) 

Yes.
(55) Had sex in the middle of the night? (1 year) 

Yes. 
(56) Have nude selfies of a sexual partner? (2 years)
Nope.
(57) Had sex with someone of a different ethnicity? (2 years)
Yes.   
(58) Had oral while driving? (3 years) 

Yes.
(59) Ever reenacted a steamy scene from a movie? (2 years)

Nope.
(60) Have you ever choked someone during sex? (3 years)
I tried it once but BDSM really isn't my thing.
(61) Had sex on the living room couch? (3 years)
Yes. 
(62) Had sex in front of a mirror? (1 year) 
Yes, and for a wonder it didn't shatter, LOL! 
(63) Used a sex toy, or had one used on you? (3 years)
Yes. See my previous answer to #22. 
(64) Gotten an STD from unprotected sex? (3 years)
Nope. Never had unprotected sex except with a steady partner.
(65) Stripped your partner before sex? (1 years)

Yes. 
(66) Gone ass-to-mouth? (4 years)
Not a chance in hell!


Words to live by!

(67) Spent a whole day naked in bed with a partner? (2 years)
Yep, day and night. 
(68) Picked masturbation over sex? (2 years)
No.... at lest not by choice.
(69) Done 69 on someone? (1 year)
Yeah I see what you did there. The answer is yes I have. 
(70) Had sex with ten or more people in your lifetime? (4 years)
I am just two shy of that number, so no.
(71) Have you ever had sex in a tent, or on a boat? (1 year)
Nope.   
(72) Had sex with a step-sibling, or family member? (5 years)
Ewww! No.  
(73) Have you ever had or given a handjob to someone in public? (2 years)
That's also a big negative there.  
(74) Have you ever played strip poker? (1 year)
Yes, a few times.
(75) Do you still have sex with any of your former sexual partners? (1 year)
Nope. Aside from one of them the rest are all married or in relationships.   


Overall this blogger has earned himself a maximum sentence of 84 years! Wow! That makes me adventurous, not to mention just under the halfway mark in the maximum sentence. Just call me a prisoner of love folks! Er, just don't expect me to get one of those weird jailhouse tattoos though.

Once again my thanks to Jennifer P. for submitting her unique quiz. What is your score? Please take the challenge like I did and post your results in the comments section.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Visiting Mad Monster Party Carolina 2019



Greetings and Salutations Horror Fans!

On Saturday, February 23rd, your favorite blogger found himself driving in the rain north on I-77 to Charlotte to attend Mad Monster Party Carolina 2019 at the Hilton Charlotte University Palace Hotel.  

This was my second official visit to Mad Monster Party since my last visit in Rock Hill in March of 2017.

Mad Monster Party is a Horror, Sci-Fi and Fantasy themed convention that brings the world's top genre celebrities and vendors together with their fans to trade stories, attend informative panels, buy autographs and outstanding merchandise. 

Y'all know by now how much I despise driving in Charlotte (or any other major city) especially in the rain. But the trip was well worth it, despite a couple of small issues and one major disappointment -- I was unable to get the autograph of the person I really wanted to meet: Bruce Campbell, the star of the Evil Dead movies and one of my all-time favorite cult classics Army of Darkness

The line to see Mr. Campbell was literally out the door and around several hallways. As y'all know I never attend conventions for more than four hours, or so, largely due to my autism issues with noise and huge crowds, and standing in line for hours to get an autograph isn't good for my bad knees either. Even worse I was unable to get close enough to get a decent photo of the guy. Dammit!

Oh well, I was able to get some other autograph from some really outstanding actors and actresses in attendance -- including an really awesome autographed Jason Vorhees hockey mask signed by the man himself, Mr. Kane Hodder! I was in line for a half hour to see him, and it was worth the wait. 

Fortunately I did arrive early enough that I did not have to wait in long lines to see other really great actors and actresses. I added at least six new autographs to my growing collection. All of them were truly marvelous folks that I enjoyed meeting and talking to, if only too briefly. 

The convention became crowded really quickly and there were several times I had to go outside -- claustrophobia is a real bitch! the noise levels were about what I expected and was able to deal with this time around with no problems. Everyone was really friendly, and the cosplayers were outstanding as always. 

The following are the photos I took of the event:

Yours truly meeting horror actor Mitch Pileggi.
He played Horace Pinker in Shocker, Walter Skinner on
The X-Files
, Colonel Steven Caldwell on Stargate Atlantis.

Yours truly with WWE Hall of Famer and former
World Wrestling Federation Champion
The Iron Sheik.
Yours truly with WWE Hall of Famer and former
World Wrestling Federation Champion
SGT Slaughter.
Sarge put me in the Cobra Clutch.
Yours truly with actor Eugene "Big Daddy" Clarke
from George A. Romero's Land of the Dead (2005).
Yeah, we kinda blinded a few folks with the glare, LOL!
Okay, okay! Jeez!!! LOL!
Yours truly with actor Sid Haig, best known as
Captain Spalding from the Rob Zombie films
The Devil's Rejects (2005) and
House of 1000 Corpses (2003).
Yours truly with actress Adrienne Barbeau.
She is famous for her roles in Swamp Thing (1982),
Creepshow (1982), and the voice of Catwoman in
Batman: The Animated Series (1992-1995).





There he is, the man himself -- Mr. Kane Hodder.
Jason Vorhees from four of the Friday the 13th films.
Thank you sir!
Artwork and autograph of horror actor David Howard
Thornton portraying his character Art The Clown
from the 2017 film Terrifier. Poor Daphne!
Yes they float. They allllll float....
Feed me Seymour....uh, I mean Carl!
No I checked, it didn't come in a size 14.
My two favorite cosplayers!
Jack and Sally from Tim Burton's
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993).
Yours truly with the actress Danielle Harris,
famous for her roles in several horror films
including the Halloween films, the teenage daughter
in The Last Boy Scout (1991), and as the voice of
Debbie Thornberry from the Nickelodeon animated
series The Wild Thornberrys.
Oh man, I'm so screwed!
Actually these two were pretty awesome, though they didn't
say much.

Aside from not getting Bruce Campbell's autograph, I had a great time hanging out with fellow fans. I also received several complements on my official Svengoolie glow-in-the-dark t-shirt. 

Looking forward to my next fan convention -- mostly because I finally plan to cosplay for the event! Yes folks, I have a great idea for who I will go to this year's South Carolina Comic Con in Greenville as....but for that y'all will just have to wait and see. 

Till then, Have A Wonderful Dixie Day, and y'all come back now, ya hear?